Stupid Questions….

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to stop admiring you the way I do 

or ever stop wanting to be with you 

is that good or bad? 

I mean I see no reason for us not to be together sometime in the future

but should I hope for that?

do you want me to hope for that? or no? 

I accept your friendship really I do

but I’m gonna always want to be more to you 

I don’t know if your ever gonna want that with me 

I hope maybe one day you would

or if your trying to just build a foundation 

I don’t know that 

but I don’t ever want to hear about any of the girls your in love with anymore 

I’m not gonna let you hurt me like that anymore 

I just can’t fucking do it 

no matter how much I want to know about whatever current girl your madly in love with 

who isn’t me 

the jealousy is just too much for me 

I’d give anything to be with someone like you someday 

I mean anything 

I envy any woman that’s been lucky enough to kiss your lips 

and be called your “love” 

I mean have you ever thought about me? 

ever? 

even late at night? 

what do they have that I don’t? 

man I gotta stop asking such stupid questions 

I guess what I mean is 

one day 

I would like to be just a little bit more to you 

maybe if I’m lucky someday you’ll want to be more to me 

too 

 

 

Lady of The Moonlight (a short story)

“I wish I was the reason why you smile” she spoke sweetly as she looked out at the lake, the moonlight creeping up behind them 

“Why is it your always in love with woman who aren’t right for you when I’m always just waiting right here?” she stated this as if they were in one of those old black and white movies, it wasn’t a question it was more of an answer, she sounded so daring and tempting all at the same time he was almost drawn a back by the way that she said these things. 

He tried his best to gather his words, thinking deeply and yet glancing at her face for an answer. “The thought had not occurred to me my lady, around that time I couldn’t really treasure any woman, my heart would go running over whomever I thought was perfect but now that you are here and you have shown me the errors of my ways, I do see you” he said and he said it quite firmly “I see that you have been here when the rest have not, I see that whenever I needed help with what I thought was love you spoke wise words, to leave you was a silly thing to do when you are searching for the same thing as I” he glanced at her. 

A small smile appeared on her rosy red lips “And what is that my lord?” she asked hesitantly, gazing gracefully at him and then to the waters edge. How beautiful it looked in the moonlight. She began to take off her shoes, then her dress and everything else. 

He was shocked by how easily she exposed herself, her features looked even more radiant in the moonlight. He felt something in his heart, he couldn’t identify it at first, he knew the word was just so close on his tongue but he couldn’t say it and he wouldn’t say it in fear of loosing his mistress. 

The lord O’Riley was a brilliant fellow. Intelligent, full of kindness and brilliant ideas. Though sometimes he let his words sink too deep into peoples skin leaving them with pain and scratches. He was an inventor of sorts, creating planes and other meaningful contraptions but what he lacked was gaining new knowledge, listening to other’s ideas instead of believing his alone were right. He was not as rich as most lords and spent most of his time exploring new lands. 

The lady Luna with her dark hair and pale skin had been his friend for an exceptionally long amount of time, she fancied him quite a lot, though they had only just met after they had written mountains of letters to each other. She had always been a wild one, up for adventures, painting paintings, sketching, making sculptures, her intelligence was beyond those of any woman he had ever met, he valued her thoughts more then any man could say. Lady Luna had been wronged man after man after man, always being alone, her heart broken, leaving her in anguish and for a woman with such beauty, The Lord O’Riley grew to admire her. He had a passion for her, one he had never had for a woman, making it quite obvious to his servants and to her for that matter. 

He always felt that he never knew quite the right thing to say to her, though he tried to make it sweet and kind but some of the things he said would just make her feel unwanted, he never meant for any of that. He let his thoughts stop for a moment and then he realized where he was, he was with her, gazing at her naked body as she bathed herself in the lake. 

“Jump in!” she yelled peacefully.

He heard her and did as she said. He let his clothes fall off him and then he joined her. The moonlight being there only light. He wouldn’t answer her question, no the was not the way of him, he expected the lady to just know. She did. She knew.

“I often think of myself as less then human” she stated in a sing songy voice. “It’s as if I was a goddess or a mermaid or a nymph of sorts” she said gracefully with a laugh. “Most men find me too enduring to figure out” 

“You enduring?” he asked her “Well I believe its possible” he joked as he came in to give her a hug from behind, oh, how he wanted to kiss her, his mistress, to just kiss her and never let go, she was so different in all of her beauty then the others had been, why did he have to waste so much time on woman who never really cared? just as she had wasted on men that didn’t care? but he was here now and he never intended to leave again

“I believe we spoke of this before” the lady spoke charmingly “you may kiss me as much as you want” 

He felt his heart flutter like a thousand butterflies had just appeared, his lips longed for her, how could she have read his mind so quickly? 

“And..” clearly she wasn’t finished but he couldn’t take it, now, he thought, I shall kiss her now 

but it was too late, she swam into the middle of the lake, the sun had already gone down luckily they had already watched it together, he swam after her, this is what he got for always calling her a “friend”, oh what sweet glorious pay back this was, he had to find her and he had to just kiss her already or his body would become enraged. 

Her heard her voice, she was singing a song unlike any he had ever heard before, it brought peace to his entire being. There she was singing in the middle of the lake like a mermaid in the sea, or a goddess of love sprouting her wings, the song made him feel quite sad now as if he was going to cry. 

He swam towards her, seeing a single tear in her eye and he brought his face closer to hers and gently kissed her passionately, he put his heart into this kiss unlike he had ever done before and soon enough they found themselves entwined in the woods. 

In the arms of a magical woman indeed, was she home? maybe, all he knew is that when he kissed her the world didn’t mean anything anymore and all of his wrongs had been lost, he was gonna make her happy like no one had ever before and he was going to love her for the rest of his days.

 

Give Me Love Like Never Before Cause Lately I’ve Been Craving More

You know whenever you sneeze or itch your nose a lot it means someone is thinking of you 

I honestly cannot tell you how many times these past two weeks that has happened to me

because it’s a lot a lot a lot a lot

and I do not have allergies so it’s gotta be someone thinking about me

I’ve been dying to know who

because my nose wont stop itching!!!

it wont

and even my mom knows why

I’ve had the flu for like two days now

unable to get out of bed

and my nose just itches!

I have been a good girl

I have been waiting patently for good things to happen

 and I’ve been living like I’m suppose to 

so I ask you 

when is it my turn to fall into love? huh?

I’m not asking for perfect love 

I know that doesn’t exist 

I’m asking for real love 

the kind of love that keeps you up at night 

brings warmth to your heart 

and tears of joy to your eyes 

I want the love where I can be held at night in someones arms 

and know that no matter what I say or what I do that upsets them they stay 

I want that person that will stay through everything 

I know the world doesn’t owe me that 

and no one owes me anything 

but I’d give anything to feel safe 

and happy 

and loved in someones arms 

just once

 

 

 

The Greatest Day (a short story)

He took a deep breath. It had been some time since he had gone on a date, perhaps too long, it took him an hour and a half a head of time to find something he thought was decent to wear, he wasn’t going to just show up in sweatpants. New jeans and a grey tshirt it was. He could just imagine how beautiful she would look on their first date. 

He had only just called her up the night before and cracked, telling her exactly how he felt and what he wanted with her. Then hearing her voice for the first time it brought a chill up his spine and warmth to his heart, he practically felt butterflies in his stomach. He had never met anyone quite like her before, a woman with such abilities and strength. He often felt like an outsider but to hear her say that she often felt like one too brought him to try and understand her, what she’s been through, and to just make her happy no matter what. 

Her happiness ended up being his key goal at the end of the day. If he didn’t speak to her once, just once then that would drive him completely crazy. He often found himself daydreaming of her through certain times of the day but always late late at night when he lay underneath his covers. She had always been the girl who stayed no matter what and others had been stupid enough to leave her but none smart enough to come back. 

When discussing subjects of a deeper notion they both often felt as if they were saying the “wrong” thing, but that was untrue since every word exchanged only brought them closer together. 

He was in the car now, on his way to her house, more nervous then he had ever been. The mall and then a walk around the lake, that was the plan. So much time but to him if felt like so little with her. They would stay up and talk till morning most nights, unless she chose to fall asleep, that also drove him crazy and made him miss her more then he could say. 

He pulled up in front of her house now, he thought he saw a small glimpse of her through a window with sheer white shades covering them. 

He took another deep breath, fixed his hair a bit then made his way up the sidewalk to her door. He rung the doorbell and waited patiently, her mother answered the door. 

“Hi you must be here to pick up Z, she’ll be right down, I’m her mother Tami, sit down and make yourself comfortable” her mother said sweetly. 

Yup, it was practically an interview but he didn’t mind, she was going to be down those stairs any minute now.

Sure enough he heard her, everyone got up as she came down the stairs. She wore a black skirt, a cute little green lace top, a hoodie and some cute little black flats. Again all he could think was “damn”. She didn’t even have any makeup on just some red lipstick.. 

He wanted to kiss that red lipstick off her lips, then kiss every bit of her body and call her his. He’d never felt like that with any woman before. Although he had had illusions of loving other woman but this with her was real. It scared him to think he could loose her again, anyone could just snatch her out of his grip and that would practically kill him, he knew it too and somehow so did she. 

He turned on the radio as they got in the car, one of her favorite songs came on and she sang along to it. He watched her in the rear-view mirror, those perfect lips opening and closing word by word. After she stopping singing he didn’t quite know what to say, “Your so beautiful Z, I mean it, it’s like everything you do you just blow me away” 

she had always been a flirt so naturally she said back “Oh I can blow you” 

He blushed “Thats not happening on a first date” he laughed 

She giggled “I know” then she let out a big fat smile “besides anything I say will just drive you crazy anyway” 

He didn’t object to that, nor did he answer, she seemed to be right about almost everything that she said to him. He liked it when she talked a lot and said words he enjoyed. He knew that this date was going to be one of the greatest day’s of his life and that no matter what he was staying when others have not. 

 

As We Will So It Shall Be Done

So.. 

I’m finally over the not so good things that have happened to me 

so of course I decided to write a story, a conversation really between someone who cares about me (no particular person) and an ex boyfriend who I am over and can honestly finally say I do not love him and I do not care for him anymore.. so here is ze story. 

“You’re a real jackass for hurting Zoe, you know that?” he told her ex. “You practically broke this girl, this strong beautiful glorious girl, you said words to her that broke her heart over and over again and you wouldn’t stop, you beat her to the ground and you didn’t stop, how could you do that to someone like her? to her?” 

“Look you don’t even know what happened dude, I could have been the one that was hurt more then she was” 

“I highly doubt that. It took her a year and four months to get over you, for your name to finally leave her brain, you damaged her heart more then anyone else ever has and that’s saying a lot considering how many people have been naive enough to hurt her” 

“How do you know all of this? why do you care so much about her? She’s just a crazy freak of a bitch who push’s people away all the time because she likes to feel useless and alone” 

“I know because she told me and why I care about her is none of your business because your are just too much of a fucking idiot and your too weak to handle her. She is nothing of what you say, nothing, she is so much better then that” 

“I guess I’m missing out huh?” 

“Hell yeah you are, I don’t feel sorry for you either for not being able to see who she is and how great she is.. because you didn’t give her a chance, its right that your just outside of her life because she’s got me now!” 

“What makes you think she has you now? she could still be in love with me” 

“She knows I care about her and she knows I’m staying. She’s not in love with you anymore, it’s quite obvious you are out of the picture and out of her head, she most likely doesn’t remember your face” 

“Ouch.. well that’s defiantly a kick in my ass, did you come here to defend her? to make sure I don’t get in the way and make her fall in love with me again?” 

“Yes, I want you to stay away from her, you hurt her enough she doesn’t need any memory’s of being hurt back in her mind and she doesn’t need you. I don’t want you coming anywhere near us, because I’m going to make her happier then you ever could and she does love me and I love her more then words can say” 

“Have you purposed to her yet? you know when I was with her I was planning to ask her to marry me at sunset by the lake..” 

“Not yet but I’m planning to, well that’s off my list” 

“Where are you planning to ask her?” 

“Well I was actually planning on taking her camping then have us go on a hike and then pretend like I think we are lost and purpose” 

“Wow.. that’s right up her alley” 

“I know, if it rains it will be even more perfect” 

“Well I wish good luck to you both, she finally has got that piece of happiness she was looking for and your it so thank you for being the complete opposite of what I was to her.. and I want you to hold her close to your heart always, she needs love and affection all the time and when she cry’s that is when she needs you most” 

“Alright, yeah, I got that. I guess this conversation turned out the complete opposite of how I assumed it would be..” 

“Yeah.. well even though I don’t talk to her I do still love her but she’s yours now and to me she is that girl that got away and I’m never going to get her back and I respect her so I don’t want to destroy her happiness in any way” 

“Thank you”

“Don’t tell her we had this talk okay? don’t tell her that I still care for her and that I respect her, let her think that I hate her, good luck with your engagement and take good care of her ,when she says she doesn’t feel beautiful tell her how beautiful she really is, take her everywhere she wants to go, buy her things you think she will love but most of all make more then enough time for her, you let her drift away even a little bit she will never forgive you. The closer you hold her the more she will believe the words that you speak to her got it?” the ex just about felt like he was going to cry now 

“Yes, I’ve got it thank you”

“You gotta promise me that your gonna love her no matter what happens, you stay by her side and you love her!” 

“Okay, okay I got it, you don’t need to worry about it dude, she perfectly safe and happy with me” 

“Good, so I’m gonna go now..”

“Alright good luck with your stuff” 

“Whatever” 

“Bye” 

“Goodbye! take care of her!” 

 

The Lines To Say

I don’t know why.. but of all people I’m telling you everything, things that I don’t usually tell people 

can you relate to what I’ve been telling you? are my questions too much for you? will you ever answer them? 

I guess I wouldn’t really know, but, it has been a long time since I believed someone truly cared for me and it’s very obvious with you, it’s genuine and truth with you, I have never known something like that where it’s just obvious how much someone actually cares and to me it looks like you care a lot, maybe more then you think? do you even know how much you care for me? will I ever know how much you care? 

I mean it is obvious that I want to meet you, get to know you, I don’t want to just be some random piece of furniture in your life, you know? I want to be more then just a girl who you talk to. I want to be a real friend or a lover to you. Doesn’t that mean anything? 

It’s like you want to know me on a such deeper level then anyone else has ever tried. I mean it just doesn’t make sense to me. Do you really see that I was here all along? I mean I never chose to leave, emotionally yes but I couldn’t handle the jealousy anymore and that feeling in my heart of feeling like you didn’t care a smidgen about me, do you know what it’s like having to listen to someone you can picture yourself with talking about how much they love another person when you try so hard to just be that person for them? but I just continued to keep trying hoping you would see me. 

I don’t know if I’m that dream girl or the girl you’ve always wished for and wanted, I don’t know that but if I am you should know. I still wait around for you, after a year of being without you I still wait, why? I really couldn’t say, I honestly don’t know. Am I not good enough for you? is that it? 

I will push you away. There will be parts of me that will scare you.  You think your bad? I most likely am the same, clearly to me you are more controlling then I and I’m sure anger can come more easily but I think that’s one of the only difference between me and you “bad” wise. Just like me you aren’t all that good at listening and you enjoy being the higher authority. We have good things and bad things in common. THAT IS A VERY GOOD THING. 

I know we don’t believe in some of the same things, I’m pretty sure your a hard-core atheist which means your not so open to believing in different things, I guess that goes for all atheist, no offence my friends. I don’t consider myself an atheist, I’m very spiritual, I’m very close to nature, I am that girl that looks past what people see as obvious, I am the girl who see’s dead people, you don’t have to believe me, you don’t have to believe anything that I say, you don’t have to take to heart what I believe or what I see. I don’t expect that. 

I wish you would just let me know in,even a little bit, more, so that I don’t have to feel like I’m just sitting here in the distance again. If your going to stay I am going to need you, there was never a time where I didn’t need you. You weren’t there for me before, but your hear for me now and you care a whole fucking lot now, I just don’t get it. What do you see in my now that you didn’t see before? and why can’t you tell me? what are you waiting for? 

I try not to plan things anymore, I can understand this whole gaining respect for me thing and being friends and all, but I can’t see why you care for me so much now, you really care a lot don’t you? to me it looks like you might almost be…passionate about caring for me or me. Is that true? 

Passion is something I can sense easily since I myself am filled to the brim with it. I hope I’m not being to forward here but I see plenty of it coming from you. No man has ever talked to me like you have, I mean it, no one, I’ll admit that your words have not brought tears of joy to my eyes yet but I’m sure one day they could. 

Is it because I tried so hard to make you happy before? is that why you want to make me happy now? or should it just be obvious to me? should it all just be obvious? is it obvious to me and I just don’t see it? 

How can I confuse you when you’ve also been confusing me? what are we confusing each other over? 

That would be a good question to be answered. I’m still waiting on my questions to be answered. 

 

 

“I can’t seem …

“I can’t seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what’s worse, I can’t seem to stop saying things – anything and everything I think and feel”
“Some people would call that honesty”
“Oh, but it’s terrible, Reverend Mother”

The Sound Of Music 

(This sounds an awful lot like me, everyday and anyday!” 

A Lovely Short Story

“Why does he love her if she doesn’t wear like any makeup?” Brittany asked her friends, who were all wearing enough makeup to cover their entire faces to their necks. 

“She’s fake duh!” remarked Natalie 

“Yeah and she’s also a bitch, I mean look at her she doesn’t eat a damn thing I bet she just barfs it up in the toilet” laughed Genevieve 

“Probably!” chimed the boys Justin and Sam in unison 

They giggled at her, her long brown hair nicely combed, looking like the waves of the ocean  after a tide, small ripples of curls, her fingers were curled around her book The Picture of Dorian Grey. She always seemed to have a book in her hands or a sketchbook in hand, she always sat by herself but today a boy had chosen to sit next to her. 

She sometimes wore her geeky glasses and sometimes wore skirts and dresses, always in style. That made Brittany and the girls angry with her. How could she be so comfortable being who she is? they found it completely disgusting. 

“I hate her” sneered Genevieve, “I want her to just die, I mean what a narcissistic bitch”  

She had always heard them saying such rude things about her and gossiping, yeah it hurt but it was their problem and not hers. She put the book down as she noticed someone at her table. 

“Hey” he said smiling at her. 

“umm Hi” she said back feeling shy. 

“I watch you here all the time, you read and you write and you create things” he stated sort of blushing 

She wanted to ask him why he did it? and why did he find her so interesting? but she shut her mouth and bit her lip instead. Unsure if how to respond to that she quieltly replied with a small.. “Thanks” and a slight smile. 

“What’s your name?” he questioned, baring a grin that seemed to bring a smile onto her own face. 

“Don’t laugh” she said “but it’s not really a common name, though I have met other girls who have it..” 

“Try me” he spoke gently still displaying that smile of his 

“Zaltu” she said tenderly “but people just call me Z” 

“Interesting” he said “So you were named after a goddess, a goddess of love and a goddess of strife?” 

“Yeah, pretty much” she replied with a giggle. “I guess it fits me though, I don’t think I’m actually human most of the time, just wait till you get to know me” 

“Oh.. Well I cant wait to get to know you better! how about I take you out Z? are you a coffee shop kind of girl or a explore the mall kind of girl?” he asked as he scooted closer to her. 

“Why not just coffee at the mall? then a nice stroll around the lake?” she spoke with a smile and a brilliant sparkle appeared in her precious eyes of paris green, her red lipstick brought out the green in her eyes, she pushed her hair back. 

“Alright sounds good, I’ll pick you up at 4:30” he grinned, clearly admiring her and it was quite obvious that he wanted her and not just everything connected to her. 

“What is your name?” she asked “I mean you know mine and you know about me so what’s your name?” 

“Roger” he said “I paint, write music, create things with my hands, read, camp, think more then I should and am a huge nerd” 

“Well it’s nice to meet you Roger, here’s my number and address for you” she handed him a piece of paper, it had a small doodle and the information he needed 

“How about I walk you to art class before I go to calculus?” he said sweetly 

“Well alright” 

They got up and made their way to the classroom, talking all the way about interests and characteristics they admired in each other, it was as if they could both feel the connection already . Such a beautiful thing. 

“I’ll call you later” he said as he gave her a hug 

“Okay, talk to you later” 

They parted ways, both not knowing that they would end up more entwined then a ball or yarn in the end of it all as the years would go by. 

Now that’s what a call quite a lovely story. 

 

People Fear What They Don’t Understand & Hate What They Can’t Conquer

Why do you wait for everyone?

I don’t wait for everyone.. 

Yes, you do .You wait for people to care, you wait for them to love you, you wait for things to go your way, you wait a whole fucking lot. People aren’t always going to care the way you want them to

So what if I wait for people to care and to love me? what is so wrong with that? I mean anything can happen so why not just let it?

You shouldn’t have to fucking wait for that, it should just happen. 

How the hell is it going to just happen? how many guys do you see lined up to love me for me and not my body? no one. Maybe I’m suppose to just be alone, I mean my puzzle pieces just don’t fit anywhere right now no matter how badly I want them to. 

It just is. It’s something you can’t control. I know you want that love hun, I know it looks like there really is no one here right now but he could be right around the corner, I keep telling you SOON and SOON whoever that man is suppose to be will be here for you. It may feel like your the only you in this world but he’s gonna see how special you are and he’s gonna give you that love, he’s gonna be braver and stronger then the rest of them. You’ll see. He will fill the cracks and you may not believe it but whoever he is he’s gonna stay no matter what happens. 

But why do I have to feel like it’s so out of reach for me? I see happy people everyday holding hands and kissing and just seeing that brilliance in each other, when do I get that? Will I ever get that? 

Because no one has shown you their courage and strength yet to be that for you. Some people feel you deserve more then what they feel they can give you. I honestly don’t know when you get that but he’s out there somewhere looking for you like you’ve been looking or him, maybe he’s just falling for all the wrong woman just like you’ve been falling for the wrong men. Oh, you’ll get it believe me. 

Well that’s sad. I wish more people would try instead of giving up on the spot, I mean I’m not that complicated of a person if you look deep enough. Yeah, I guess so but what’s taking him so damn long? I mean the big 2 Oh is gonna be here soon, I wanted to be with him at the age of 19 but he is no where to be found. 

Yeah it is sad.. people are stupid. No your not “complicated” but you are very different, like different different and your beliefs are quite like a hippie.. and some people get freaked out at your love for nature. I don’t know what’s taking him so long maybe he is just a fool like the rest of them and can’t find the right time to enter your life without making it too obvious of his admiration for you. 

So what? I am closer to nature then I am with humans, oh well, I might have been born human but my abilities are far from one. I guess that’s what scares them, I mean society doesn’t really like “different”  it’s always about money and fashion and makeup, people don’t see the nature part of it and how not just one belief can be true, I mean science doesn’t prove anything, it’s just an analyzation of what something is, logic is just numbers and what a person sees as “correct” .Too obvious? I know of no one who would do such a thing, I like it when it’s obvious though, I think a person is only a fool if they give up on loving someone, that’s why as tough as I am I just don’t give up on that. 

Yeah well, people are people. Society is society and everyone cares more about approval from what everyone else thinks then caring about what they actually think or know, we label things and forget the true meaning of what it actually is, it’s like there isn’t much of a heart anymore. Sometimes you have to give up, I know you hold on for dear life till you bleed, I still don’t understand why you do that, why do you put so much of your heart into people that don’t care? do you think it’s going to make them stay longer or love you? why do you do that Zoe?

Heartless, dishonest, dispassionate fools make up a lot of this planet. I know but a lot of the time I don’t want to, I carry so much hope that things will just “work out”. I put my heart into people that don’t care because I think that maybe one day they could care. I know I can’t change a person but a heartless person you can give love to. It can give them a change of heart or it can make them worse, when love comes from me it changes their hearts. They know it too, they can feel it when they fall in love with me and that’s why they leave.. and I let them leave. 

but you push them away to make them leave or they just leave..

I push them away because I don’t know if they are truly capable of caring for me.. I break easily on the inside on the outside I can fake a smile and act like everything is okay. It’s not easy being me. It never has been, I’ve been alone most of the time. Do you know how hard it is seeing dead people that you don’t even know? seeing their spirits while your alive trying to understand what they need your help for? and they pop up at the randomist of times at night? It’s fucking scary and some of them are not nice either, I still have that scar from being attacked by one. do you see how completely insane I sound? I can’t hear them either, I just see them. 

Incapable of loving you? how can you say something like that? I mean look at the people that do love you! they are so fucking lucky Zoe! and even the people that choose to just stay for the ride of your life, they are lucky too because they get a glimpse of how amazingly badass and awesome you are! Nothing good is ever easy and your soul is one of the most beautiful, the most pure, if people can see that then they are extremely lucky and blessed. Honey ever power that you have is a gift, no matter how scary or “insane” it may feel you are lucky to have this, so what people don’t look past what they think they already know? they don’t know the half of it!! I know it’s hard for you to keep feeling what these dead people have felt and seeing how they died. I don’t know why you were choosen to have more abilities then anyone, most people just have one, you’ve got more then that, almost six right? but that doesn’t make you an oddball or a freak it just makes you more powerful then any average human. 

Then why don’t people stick around to know all of that about me? and the deeper things?

People are scared of what they don’t understand. 

Then when is there going to be someone who isn’t afraid of me? 

When they try to step into your shoes and see what it could be like to be you, then if they aren’t afraid by then, they will grow to love and admire you for who you are

I’d like that 

I’m sure you would, I know all of us would, we would like to see you 100% happy with that feeling of love, just wait, it’ll happen when it happens and I’ll be here to see it all 

Thank you 

No, thank you for being you. 

The Understanding of Her Big Heart

“Why do you think such terrible things about yourself?” he asked her “I mean look at you, your beautiful and you’ve got such a big heart, with a heart like that anyone would be stupid not to love you” 

“Sometimes people can’t see the heart and the love I’ve got inside.. they end up caring more about themselves then me or just my pretty face” 

“Well fuck them, your so lucky to have a big heart, to know that you just happen to give more love then anyone else possibly could, I mean what a gift! It’s your heart that makes you as beautiful as you are, those people that have left you, that have been fucking stupid enough to break it before or over and over, they can’t see the purity of your soul and how you love everyone no matter what the situation or how cruel they can possibly be to you” 

“Shut up! you know nothing about me.. people can leave when they want, they can break my heart when they want, it doesn’t matter, they can do what they want but I never just go or just stop caring speaking of, why do you bother to care for me huh? what is so special about staying with a crazy bitch like me?” 

“I have no reason not to care for you. What is so special about staying with you? do you really think you have to ask me that? your not a crazy bitch, whoever was dumb enough to call you that needs to be kicked in the balls hard and I’ll be happy to do that!” 

She felt like she was in a state between complete joy and slight anger, wanting to laugh and  to just aggressively not hear what he was saying no matter how true it may be, tears came from her eyes, so much emotion in such a small woman and even more passion running through her veins. 

He wouldn’t stop saying beautiful things about her. No one had even done a thing like that, it had always been just the opposite, telling her whats wrong with her and shit like that. 

So naturally her response was-

“Don’t you dare! don’t you ever fucking say such nice things to me or I will believe them, I’ll fucking believe you and then you know what’s going to happen? I’m going to fall in love with you and I can’t fall in love, I just can’t! I’m done falling in love” 

“You listen to me” he said harshly looking deeply into her eyes “I’m staying wither you like it or not and I’m giving you beautiful words that make you happy and I’m going to make you happy no matter how long it takes I’m gonna be the one to put a smile on that sensational face of yours. We are going to be two happy people in love and I’m going to take you anywhere you want to go and give whatever you need, you hear me!” 

She tried running away, turning her body so that he wouldn’t be able to hug her, if he put his arms around her, she knew she was going to break down. 

It was already too late, he held her close and she believed every word he said.