GO TO HIM!!!

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I try not to blog about personal things, but recently I had a gigantic thing happen in part of my life.
Two weeks ago I finally decided to move out. So I’m only living at one parents house now but I’ll be moving out in less then a year I hope. So I’m basically on my way now.
I’ve been saved by god for a large amount of time now, and he always would just whisper to me or tell me to wait or give me a yes or a no with things in my life.
Just last Wednesday, I had a few things happen to me that really hit me hard.
I’ve been talking to someone who I have a really cool connection with. I could never lie to him or hurt him. I feel like I have so much to ask him and tell him but I don’t know where to start. It’s like weve known each other for years but we haven’t really seen each other yet but thanks to snapchat and facebook I guess that’s no big deal.
Anyway.. as I was walking to my class, I had just crossed the street, feeling slightly tired and about to do my walk with God, I had all these questions to ask him about some things then this huge gust of wind blew and pretty much woke me up..
I started thinking about this someone I have a beautiful connection with and
As I kept walking I saw these white spray painted arrows pointing to go forward then I heard a deep mighty voice, it was God, he said “GO TO HIM!!” and I immediately felt like I was going to burst out into tears. Then the whole time during class I just felt so relieved and like I was going to cry, I did have a few happy tears stuck in my eyes all through class that day. It was intense. I’ve never had an experience like that. I still feel it too, he’s encouraging me and pushing me to go to my someone.
The next day I had a very similar experience.
I was waiting at the bus stop and some old guy decided to come over and rant about everything that I already know about Christianity and being saved by God but I found it incredibly interesting the way he was describing it and the emotions in his face and I’m nice so of course I want to hear another persons view on how they feel about God.
He started to go on about how you’ve got to spread the word of God and how it’s a gift so the old dude gave me his car keys. At that moment, I got pictures in my head of me driving a car to where my someone is and I heard it all over again, only this time it was louder “GO TO HIM!!!” the sun was in my eyes, I couldn’t let myself burst into tears of joy because the old dude was there. Then when I got on the bus and the old dude basically gave me a blessing, I felt a sense of peace.
For years I’d been begging and pleading with God to just tell me where I’m suppose to go and where I belong and finally after years I get a reply only it’s louder then a whisper. It took me all of yesterday to take it all in and recover from such an event that hit me so hard in the heart.
It feels so good afterward though, feeling how guided I am by him and how amazing things have been getting for me.
You know what, I think things are just beginning and they will be getting better.

Facts about Me

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I am not perfect
I get knots in my hair like everyone else
I cry in most movies at the sad parts
I cannot stand feeling like someone doesn’t care and being ignored
I don’t have big boobs
I’m incredibly short
I always let people talk first because I know what it feels like to want to let everything out
When I was a kid I wanted nothing more then to be a mermaid
I was born with brown hair but as I’ve gotten older it’s gotten red and I consider myself a ginger
My favorite tea is chamomile and earl grey
I’ve had my problems
I’ve grown from them
People don’t usually take any time to get to know me
I’ve been judged so much before
It became harder for me to trust people
I love the feeling of rain on my body while I’m wearing clothes
Sometimes I cry in the shower
I hide a lot from my parents
I’ve never really fit in anywhere
I try harder then a lot of people to make others happy
If you hurt me more then once, I can’t ever let you back into my life
The word “whatever” & when people say “I don’t care” bugs me so much
I cannot stand seeing other people disrespect each other.

11

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hair a mess
eyes are tired
but not from stress
my heart keeps
beating
I have
so many scars
I can’t believe
your not leaving
such a big moment
for me
I know I haven’t made it
easy
but if you felt
such a tug as I
you’d know why

TeN

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chamomile tea
warm weather
air conditioning
childhood television shows
I still feel
Gods pull
on my heart
that’s so full
so many signs
and those words
“go to him”
echo in my mind
though we have
only known each other
for a such a short time
please excuse me
when I say
I think your’e meant
to be mine