no more | rebelliousoceannymph

The title says it all.

This is the last letter/blog post/anything that I am going to write about you because clearly you don’t deserve me, you never will and when you come back in the future I’ll be happy, I already am happy without you.

Lets start out with the facts, I said I would never bash anyone on this blog but I’m going to bash you. For whatever reason I wanted a child with you I was dreadfully wrong, you could never be a father or a husband. You don’t have the balls to be that to anyone. You broke up with me over the phone, over text, over a message telling me to fuck off. Well now I’m telling you that I never want to see your ugly face again, even in my thoughts I am going to fuzz you out. You don’t belong there, you do not deserve to belong there.

The late night calls don’t mean much anymore Zach, I have nothing from them. Just a few days ago I talked with someone fantastic till 6 am, I could never do that with you, you always fell asleep. He doesn’t fall asleep, he talks to me and when he talks to me its all about me not just him, its about him to but mostly its about us.

It was never about us in our relationship Zach, it was about you. I gave you plenty of bj’s and hj’s and you only ate me out once. You may have driven us places and bought tickets to movies but the only thing you wanted was sex. When we had sex, to be honest I felt nothing, I no longer loved you. I felt no love for you. At the concert when your hands were around my waist all I felt was skin, that tingle was gone.

I shouldn’t have given you what you wanted. Even though I did want it then to it just didn’t feel right.

I tried being friends with you, that could have never worked and then you had the balls to want to just fuck me again. You put me that low on the food chain? a fuck buddy Zach? NO! NO! NO! I deserve much better then that.

This guy, this man that I adore, that I like oh so very much, we were best friends before this connection happened. Before this “liking”, we may not have had much time on the first date but hell I know he cares A LOT, he gave me more of him then you did in 3 months. He may not be able to verbalize most of the time but I can see it all in his eyes.

His eyes are more breath taking then yours. They light up when he sees me.

Yes, I think about him. Not all the time but enough of the time.

I’m going to burn your shit tomorrow that I have that reminds me of you. The poems and journal entry’s I wrote about you and for you, the blue fishnets you liked me in so much. A few graphic erotic paintings I made that have some resemblance to us. It hurts me that I no longer like the Moulin Rouge. I can’t watch it without thinking of you, but luckily when I watched it last you were the last thing on my mind and he was the first. I wont burn the DVD just simply break it or smash it to pieces.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

I would say it a thousand times more but I’m moving on and I have moved on. I like someone a lot and he likes me. We will be getting together soon and someday he will love me. Let me repeat that, SOMEDAY HE WILL LOVE ME. He wants to love me. I think.

Anyway, I hope your not sleeping tonight, your probably wasting a lot of your time smoking pot and dropping out of college.

Bye bye you rude mouthed mother fucker.

I hope Karma bites you in the ass.