So I have been having the same dream about the same person for the past two weeks now..
Sometimes it’s more romantic, sometimes it’s more sexual..
but it’s always the same dream!!
I’m not entirely sure if this means I’ve been thinking about this person too much
or if he is thinking about me
I still do not know why my nose has been itching so much
or who could be thinking about me
but anything is possible
my gut was totally right about someone coming back
so my gut must be right about other things too
no one can really keep secrets from me
because I just find out anyway
and when things are obvious they are obviously obvious
I mean you can take back your words
but I see “passion” as clear as day
and that is something that cannot be hidden easily
especially if devotion is in it as well
I’m not gonna turn a friendship into a romance
unless I know the feeling is mutual
you know now that I think about it..
I’m not sure if was a dream or more of a vision
oh my god..
maybe it was a vision
I mean my visions always feel more real
and that felt real
that didn’t feel much like a dream..
my visions only end up accurate
based on that person decisions though
and the choices they make
for example
after my slightly recent
boyfriend broke up with me
I no longer saw him in my future
I ended up seeing what his future looked like instead
with the ex before him
I knew he was going to dump me
but that was more in my intuition then a vision
but I did have a vision of the last time we would see each other that summer..
and I knew that that kiss was the last one I’d ever get
If I become very close to someone
I can see their future
and if they choose to have me in it
if they even consider it
I can see that too
I wish I could just know what my future looks like now
maybe then
things would seem less of a challenge to get there
I think I’m more concerned that I could just end up alone
that no ones gonna want to take
an opportunity to love me and get to know all of me
I’ve had dreams of what this person is like
but I never get to know what he looks like
or hear what he sounds like
unless I’m with someone
and they want me in their future
Do you think someone would ever wait for me?
if I waited for them?
or is that not entirely possible?
is there someone waiting for me now?
or are they searching for me too?
Damn, what I would give to just know that I have been found
I know there isn’t just “one” of “the one”
but I’d like to know that
I’m taken good care of
I know that almost every girl
is like
“Oh I wanna get married and have a big fat ass wedding that’s worth a ton of money
and I’m just like
no thanks, I think a small wedding sounds good
do guys even think about marriage?
can they just realize that they want to marry this certain girl?
is there just something about this girl that makes them think “oh wow, I want her to have my kids”?
Wow, that is a very deep question
I’v only ever been with one guy who wanted to marry me..
he would always say “lets have kids!”
and since I was only 17, I was like
“No! I’m not having a baby at 17”
and of course we broke up
he was my longest relationship actually
5 months or 6 months,
so half a year
I don’t really remember much though
wasn’t my best relationship
I’ve date nothing but boy’s
I’d like to date a man for once
one who would just love to commit to me
no matter what the cost
to just have that sense of devotion
where he’s proud to say
“That’s my girlfriend, she’s my best friend and I love her”
with that bond that we worked hard to get to
that trust
that is what I want
I wanna be loved for who I am
in every way
be seen for who I am
see him for who he is
I think kisses are the best way to show that you care for someone
romantically that is
I know I should probably tone down my love for love though
if I want to get somewhere
but maybe there is someone who appreciates that in me
It’s just nice to feel special you know?
and sometimes girls like me
we take risks to feel like that
even if it means our hearts get broken
I’ve done things that I do regret
to get the feeling
of being special
it’s hard these days to find someone who doesn’t want anything from you
instead of just wanting to make you happy and love you
most people just leave after they have taken what they want
but there are still some of us who stay around because we care
and because we’d do anything to see you happy
I don’t know how many people there are like that in my life right now
I can tell you two, including my family but that’s about it
this is gonna sound like a really dumb question but why do people leave and come back?
do they realize they made a mistake so they turn around and try and fix it?
or is it because they feel sorry about what they did before and they want to make it up to the person?
or is it just something they saw that they didn’t see before?
can that happen?
do they just come back to be nice?
I think this is the first time someone has ever come back
not wanting to take anything from me
I guess I don’t really need to know why
but I think the second most common reason people come back
is because it’s something in their heart and in their head
that tell’s them
there are some people who never intend on coming back so they close the door
with words like
“lets just be friends”
or
“I don’t deserve you”
at least after a relationship
I believe that those are the words used
believe me I’ve heard them a lot
I know an awful lot about love
I’ve been through quite a lot myself
to finally know what real love is
one day
someone’s gonna be lucky enough
to give me that real love
I just wish I knew who