I don’t know
why I suddenly feel like the whole world is against me
it’s like my happiness just doesn’t matter to anyone anymore
I cried yesterday
and now I’m crying again today
it’s like Mother Nature is just purposefully
taking away the people that I love
and that I thought I could see in my future
and now she’s taking away the one person who understands me
and the one person who knows me better then anyone else
even my best friend
I know I’m not perfect
but this is just mean
so mean in so many ways
and now its like he doesn’t really care about me anymore
at least that’s what it looks like
it’s almost like no one really cares about me
no one is even trying to care about me
I’ve thought about killing myself
how my funeral could be the one thing to make someone come back
just anyone really
My heart aches so much right now
it’s like I’m the rain almost
and
I can’t stop the rain from falling
I have no faith
all I’ve got is hope
and that’s not doing any good for me right now
why does my heart continue to do this?
I just simply fall in love with
certain people who show me kindness
or connect with me in a rare way
only to be hurt badly in the end
Mother Nature why did you have to take him away from me?
WHY? this isn’t fair
not to me
and not my heart
or even him
we are two pieces of the puzzle
then you let him go thousands of miles away
and I’m going to have to let him go
and I wont be his last love like I want
I’m grieving about all of this before it has even happened
ugh, what is wrong with me?
I feel so disgusted with myself now
my lip is quivering
that’s a first
I think you can hear the pain very much in the way that I’m crying
what if it’s his voice that I’m hearing?
OH FUCK
I don’t know
maybe I am a total nutcase and just super crazy
if there’s anyone out there
who cares for me
even just a little
could you let me know
please
could you please come see me
or something
just call me up on the phone
I need to hear someones voice
please let whoever
is saying
“Zoe, I love you, I love you Zoe”
or
“I love Zoe, I’m in love with Zoe”
to just speak to me
please
that’s all I ask
I won’t ask for anything else
ever again
I promise
just please don’t take away
the people I love
please