Creep

She’s afraid of
The man who
Created her
He is filled
with anger
A narcissist
A faker
She’s scared
That he will
Rape her
Since he’s lost
His identity
He abuses her
With words
And won’t let her
Leave
She only stays
In fear of her
Sisters safety
They both
Need to be free
Of him
She hopes
Soon
They will be
Able to
Leave

Somebody, Someone, The One

She often felt
Sad and alone
You see
Convinced
That what
She desired
Could be
Nothing
But a
Shitty pipe dream
The more people
That seemed to leave
The less and less
She would believe
Though she was created
With less trust already
She still hoped
That maybe
Somebody
Would prove her wrong
Someone
Would choose her
To be the one

Silver & Gold

So many
Words
Wasted
Since you
Felt you had to
Go
And be done
With her heart
Of silver and gold
Now you will
Never know
What could have been
Or what she will show
You’re naive
To leave
If that is so
You could
Have been
So close
To a pretty girl

Permission

She let you
Break her
With her own
Permission
Because she knew
You’d leave just
As if you’d
Come in

Two Paths

If you
Leave
Then you’ve
Never changed
If you
Stay
Plenty
Of
Happiness
Can be
Arranged

Walk Out

They say
“Don’t leave me”
So that
They
Can be
The ones
To walk out
First

Please..

I don’t know 

why I suddenly feel like the whole world is against me 

it’s like my happiness just doesn’t matter to anyone anymore 

I cried yesterday 

and now I’m crying again today 

it’s like Mother Nature is just purposefully 

taking away the people that I love 

and that I thought I could see in my future 

and now she’s taking away the one person who understands me 

and the one person who knows me better then anyone else 

even my best friend 

I know I’m not perfect 

but this is just mean 

so mean in so many ways 

and now its like he doesn’t really care about me anymore 

at least that’s what it looks like 

it’s almost like no one really cares about me 

no one is even trying to care about me 

I’ve thought about killing myself 

how my funeral could be the one thing to make someone come back

just anyone really 

My heart aches so much right now 

it’s like I’m the rain almost 

and 

I can’t stop the rain from falling 

I have no faith 

all I’ve got is hope 

and that’s not doing any good for me right now 

why does my heart continue to do this?

I just simply fall in love with 

certain people who show me kindness 

or connect with me in a rare way 

only to be hurt badly in the end 

Mother Nature why did you have to take him away from me?

WHY? this isn’t fair 

not to me 

and not my heart 

or even him 

we are two pieces of the puzzle 

then you let him go thousands of miles away 

and I’m going to have to let him go 

and I wont be his last love like I want 

I’m grieving about all of this before it has even happened

ugh, what is wrong with me?

I feel so disgusted with myself now

my lip is quivering

that’s a first

I think you can hear the pain very much in the way that I’m crying

what if it’s his voice that I’m hearing?

OH FUCK

I don’t know

maybe I am a total nutcase and just super crazy

if there’s anyone out there 

who cares for me 

even just a little 

could you let me know 

please 

could you please come see me 

or something 

just call me up on the phone 

I need to hear someones voice 

please let whoever 

is saying 

“Zoe, I love you, I love you Zoe” 

or 

“I love Zoe, I’m in love with Zoe” 

to just speak to me 

please 

that’s all I ask 

I won’t ask for anything else 

ever again 

I promise 

just please don’t take away 

the people I love 

please 

 

The Understanding of Her Big Heart

“Why do you think such terrible things about yourself?” he asked her “I mean look at you, your beautiful and you’ve got such a big heart, with a heart like that anyone would be stupid not to love you” 

“Sometimes people can’t see the heart and the love I’ve got inside.. they end up caring more about themselves then me or just my pretty face” 

“Well fuck them, your so lucky to have a big heart, to know that you just happen to give more love then anyone else possibly could, I mean what a gift! It’s your heart that makes you as beautiful as you are, those people that have left you, that have been fucking stupid enough to break it before or over and over, they can’t see the purity of your soul and how you love everyone no matter what the situation or how cruel they can possibly be to you” 

“Shut up! you know nothing about me.. people can leave when they want, they can break my heart when they want, it doesn’t matter, they can do what they want but I never just go or just stop caring speaking of, why do you bother to care for me huh? what is so special about staying with a crazy bitch like me?” 

“I have no reason not to care for you. What is so special about staying with you? do you really think you have to ask me that? your not a crazy bitch, whoever was dumb enough to call you that needs to be kicked in the balls hard and I’ll be happy to do that!” 

She felt like she was in a state between complete joy and slight anger, wanting to laugh and  to just aggressively not hear what he was saying no matter how true it may be, tears came from her eyes, so much emotion in such a small woman and even more passion running through her veins. 

He wouldn’t stop saying beautiful things about her. No one had even done a thing like that, it had always been just the opposite, telling her whats wrong with her and shit like that. 

So naturally her response was-

“Don’t you dare! don’t you ever fucking say such nice things to me or I will believe them, I’ll fucking believe you and then you know what’s going to happen? I’m going to fall in love with you and I can’t fall in love, I just can’t! I’m done falling in love” 

“You listen to me” he said harshly looking deeply into her eyes “I’m staying wither you like it or not and I’m giving you beautiful words that make you happy and I’m going to make you happy no matter how long it takes I’m gonna be the one to put a smile on that sensational face of yours. We are going to be two happy people in love and I’m going to take you anywhere you want to go and give whatever you need, you hear me!” 

She tried running away, turning her body so that he wouldn’t be able to hug her, if he put his arms around her, she knew she was going to break down. 

It was already too late, he held her close and she believed every word he said. 

 

 

 

The Ugly Duckling From Outer Space Makes A LEGO House

If I asked you 

“Do you think I’m beautiful?” 

what would you say?

would you say 

“Your pretty but there are other people prettier then you” ? 

would you say 

“Your alright” ? 

would you compare me to a summer day? 

or stars in the night? 

would you call me average? 

or would you say nothing at all? 

People see what they think is beautiful 

we all just see what we want 

but some of us can look past that 

for instance 

I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way 

my family never taught me that 

a lot of what I know 

I found out myself 

I’ve had negative 

and positive views on my looks

and I’ve been called fake before

but everything that anyone else has ever said to me

about my own beauty is just an opinion

and sometimes it’s a lie

 to be honest 

it takes a lot 

for my ears to believe what is said 

I’m not entirely sure why that is 

I’ve never really felt home 

anywhere 

and I’m pretty sure I’ve told you all enough 

about that 

my hearts been broken 

many times 

and 

I’m not sure if I want it to be broken again 

but that’s a risk I’m going to take 

I’ve sort of lost sight of the image of someone ever really 

loving me 

I know that’s probably not the best thing 

and I do have some hope, I never could live without hope 

even just a little bit 

nothings ever like the movies 

and nothings ever like it seems 

or how it’s suppose to be

you know 

and I can say I’m pretty 

or I’m ugly 

but your just going to 

judge me like everyone else 

or make up some illusion that I’m perfect 

when I’m just searching for a place to find home 

or a person who knows how lucky they are just to hold me and accept me for who I am 

it’s not easy being me at all

it’s been really hard 

I’ve cried a lot 

and I’ve laughed a lot 

and I’ve felt things and done things 

I never thought possible 

but somehow there is still that something missing 

there’s  that place in my heart that still hurts 

and I’m not sure if it will ever leave me 

it’s not from some dumbass who broke my heart 

its much more then that 

and believe me 

I welcome you with open arms 

but I don’t expect you to stay 

not for me 

leave when you want 

do what you want 

I’m just looking for my place 

before I have to leave it 

 

 

Untitled Story In The Woods

“Why do you use poetry to speak and words to seduce?” he asked her puzzled by the sad look in her eyes, she wasn’t like the others, she revealed too much from the center of her heart and her universe and sang only when truly happy other then that she kept her mouth shut and he eyes wide open which made him see her differently then just a girl. 

“I speak of the wind and the trees and what is in front of me but my heart is very hard to find” she answered with a sly smile. Her hair was never put up, it lay across her bare chest and body, she never wore clothes and found herself wandering in the woods more then the city. 

“If I ask you what you are will you answer honestly?” he spoke as he began to get closer to her, she wasn’t used to closeness or people.. she spent her time wandering for someone or something that would love her, being born from the earth.. mother nature can’t exactly give hugs or kisses, you don’t believe in a god or talk of t.v shows and music, negativity makes your body sick even though your heart carry’s sadness. 

She nodded her head as if to tell him but not really. Then she took a deep breath and made some odd gestures with her hands, the sky above turned purple and the clouds went grey, it began to rain. Her long hair became darker, tears ran down her cheeks, ocean tears.. then she spoke in a sing-song voice..

“I am the water, the air and the trees, I am not the earth and I am not fully human, I was born with two hearts and not one, I feel everything and see what cannot be seen, my body is made of the ocean and only as beautiful as others see it. My brain is from a different time and my eyes create life in front of me. I am spirit and I am soul, I speak the truth in everything, I heal humans and I break them, my voice can be heard from miles away” 

As she said this, the rain began to stop and nothing but droplets were left on her pale skin, flowers grew around her and butterflies surrounded them. It was like a dream he had wandered into. 

She wasn’t finished yet. 

“I am the granddaughter of the moon and the sun, humans cannot understand me my voice is too ancient or them to hear. I am the only daughter of Mother Nature, born of fire and water, love and fear, you name it and that is what I am, I am the child of the light. Darkness is my enemy, the demons scare me..that is all I can tell you” 

He didn’t know what to say. He felt as if he was talking to an angel or a goddess and she seemed to reveal that much. He felt a fool for asking when for some reason deep inside he had already known.. 

“You try to hard you know..”

“Why do say that?” she asked. 

“you shouldn’t have to worry about those other humans.. I think your too good for them”

“Then why are you here?” she asked him as she put one hand into the freshwater lake. 

He couldn’t figure out how to answer that. Where to start? how to say it? he scratched his head pretty hard on this one. He couldn’t say “I don’t know” that would ust make him sound like he didn’t care about her.. that’s it..

“I’m here because I care about you and I’ve been searching just as you have for someone to stay and understand” he said honestly. 

“Your not going to stay though..” she bit her bottom lip, “Your going to end up leaving like everyone else has or falling for a pixie..” 

He felt like laughing.. “A pixie? Nahhh, a pixie isn’t as cool as you, daughter of Mother Nature” 

She found herself blushing “She’s my father too” she responded. 

They laughed until they cried. They cried until they kissed and then they drifted off to sleep.