Tag Archives: today

You Stay Johanna, The Way I Dreamed You Were,

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Today I took public transportation home

from work

I had my headphones in

but the music wasn’t exactly that loud

since I sort of keep it at a good volume

a mother got on the bus

with her beautiful little blonde girls

then as everyone else got on

there was this woman

who was sitting near the front of the bus

touching the wall with one hand

she was talking to it I think

or something she saw

that everyone else couldn’t

then like any other human

I made small assumptions

like

“she’s probably done a lot of drugs”

“She probably lives on the street”

but something told me none of those could be true

something told me

it was wrong to think that way about her

about anyone

I felt she was no different then I

just because I couldn’t see what she was seeing

doesn’t mean it wasn’t there

get it?

I don’t think she is crazy

doctors diagnose things to gain money

not one of us is normal

or even close to normal

I don’t mind labels much anymore

but stereotypes and assumptions

I cannot stand

I do notice every little detail

and I do think too much

when I feel I must

I love noticing things other humans don’t

I’m aware that some think I’m unintelligent

but I read books

I learn from others

I say things

hoping they wont blow up in my face

I put myself out there

in hope that I can make an impact

on someone else’s life

I don’t care if you weren’t looking for me

I don’t care if your not interested

I will leave my mark on you

or on your life

I did not pity this woman on the bus

I had half a mind to go up and ask her who she’s talking too

but I felt it would be rude of me to interrupt her conversation

I think she’s like me

she may feel human (which I often don’t)

but I think her gifts are a bit more advanced then mine

I’ve only ever seen ghosts during or after sundown/sunset

I know people were looking at her with disgust or like she’s insane

I’ve gotten looks like that most of my life

the whole

“Your too different”

I’d like to feel less alone

I’m not saying I’m “lonely”

lonely means I’m sad I’m alone

I just said that

I’d like to feel less alone

I’d like to have one human being who doesn’t think I’m crazy

I know God doesn’t think I’m crazy

the lord gave me these gifts because he knew

that I am strong and that I’d get stronger

I’d like a companion

of some sort

friend, best friend, boyfriend, lover

just give me one person

who won’t judge me right away

or assume things about who I am based off my actions

or my looks

I want honesty

and loyalty

and passion

but above all

I would like care

and if its not too much to ask

maybe a love of some kind

Please let them not talk about themselves all the time

I know sometimes I talk about myself

but that’s only because

I want to know them

so I tell them about myself

no more assholes okay God

no more jerks who just want me for my body

no more men with big egos who care more about themselves then anyone else

no more men who worry about money in their pockets

no more men who don’t make time for themselves or anyone else

you give me humans who will always stay

no matter how hard life gets for us

and with that

my thoughts have trailed off yet again

you’ll most likely read my thoughts in the next post

3/1/2014

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Today
The day
You obviously
Checked me out
The day
You smiled at me
I was much too
Happy to pout
I will think of you
Until I see you
Once again
Would it be crazy
Of me to want you
To be my boyfriend?
I think of you
So often
I should have
Asked you
If you had
A girlfriend
Which I’m sure
You don’t
What I would give
To hold you
Kiss those lips
Stay in your arms
Until sunset
Or even longer
Please ask me out
Soon
I really don’t want
To be without you