Today I took public transportation home
from work
I had my headphones in
but the music wasn’t exactly that loud
since I sort of keep it at a good volume
a mother got on the bus
with her beautiful little blonde girls
then as everyone else got on
there was this woman
who was sitting near the front of the bus
touching the wall with one hand
she was talking to it I think
or something she saw
that everyone else couldn’t
then like any other human
I made small assumptions
like
“she’s probably done a lot of drugs”
“She probably lives on the street”
but something told me none of those could be true
something told me
it was wrong to think that way about her
about anyone
I felt she was no different then I
just because I couldn’t see what she was seeing
doesn’t mean it wasn’t there
get it?
I don’t think she is crazy
doctors diagnose things to gain money
not one of us is normal
or even close to normal
I don’t mind labels much anymore
but stereotypes and assumptions
I cannot stand
I do notice every little detail
and I do think too much
when I feel I must
I love noticing things other humans don’t
I’m aware that some think I’m unintelligent
but I read books
I learn from others
I say things
hoping they wont blow up in my face
I put myself out there
in hope that I can make an impact
on someone else’s life
I don’t care if you weren’t looking for me
I don’t care if your not interested
I will leave my mark on you
or on your life
I did not pity this woman on the bus
I had half a mind to go up and ask her who she’s talking too
but I felt it would be rude of me to interrupt her conversation
I think she’s like me
she may feel human (which I often don’t)
but I think her gifts are a bit more advanced then mine
I’ve only ever seen ghosts during or after sundown/sunset
I know people were looking at her with disgust or like she’s insane
I’ve gotten looks like that most of my life
the whole
“Your too different”
I’d like to feel less alone
I’m not saying I’m “lonely”
lonely means I’m sad I’m alone
I just said that
I’d like to feel less alone
I’d like to have one human being who doesn’t think I’m crazy
I know God doesn’t think I’m crazy
the lord gave me these gifts because he knew
that I am strong and that I’d get stronger
I’d like a companion
of some sort
friend, best friend, boyfriend, lover
just give me one person
who won’t judge me right away
or assume things about who I am based off my actions
or my looks
I want honesty
and loyalty
and passion
but above all
I would like care
and if its not too much to ask
maybe a love of some kind
Please let them not talk about themselves all the time
I know sometimes I talk about myself
but that’s only because
I want to know them
so I tell them about myself
no more assholes okay God
no more jerks who just want me for my body
no more men with big egos who care more about themselves then anyone else
no more men who worry about money in their pockets
no more men who don’t make time for themselves or anyone else
you give me humans who will always stay
no matter how hard life gets for us
and with that
my thoughts have trailed off yet again
you’ll most likely read my thoughts in the next post