two hearts | rebelliousoceannymph

Why are there so many guys who are interested in me?

I have had at least five maybe more guys ask me to go out with them since the new year, believe me its lovely but it is something I’m not used too.

Men are usually intimidated by me or they say nothing at all but this time its different I’m a woman now so that may be the case of it all haha

It’s snow out, very gracefully now and too think that I get to walk in it.

I’m still not completely ready for my date haha that will happen within an hour.

I feel like so many man are just blinded by beauty on the outside of a woman, many have yet to see what a woman looks like on the inside. After all the things I’ve learned as sextis as this sounds both men and woman can be filled completely with bullshit. I have met the same amount of woman as the same amount of men who look so beautiful on the outside but there souls are suffering from something that cannot be fixed unless they find it for themselves.

I am going to be honest with you. I have never been the type of woman who hides beneath her beauty, in fact it was hard for me to find my true beauty on the inside. I always give to others even if I get nothing in return, I care so fucking much about everyone else that I had been blinded for the love of myself, but I found it now, I found that love. I feel that is what makes my soul so pure, because I love like no other, a woman born with two hearts.

A woman either more human are very much less human then the rest, I honestly wouldn’t know. At points in time I dislike being human but at other points I also believe I am happy too be so but to have more power would be lovely.

I have found myself reading Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet yesterday, I spoke the words allowed to myself, it was consuming, I very much put myself in each part, the words Romeo speaks of his Juliet are so touching. I’m pretty sure I almost cried.

I don’t know what else to tell you.

I know tonight will be quite an inspiring night.

Perfect, what kind of a word is that? no one is perfect.

We all see perfection in a different way. I guess deep down I wish the world thought I was perfect, I’ve never really changed for anyone. I only change for myself. I don’t really care what others think yet I want acceptance from everyone. I want them to love me for who I am, since that’s all I’ll really be is me.

I find comfort in dreaming, painting, making art, singing, listening to music, dancing and writing. I find it sometimes in people but I’ve learned never to expect anything, if they really care about me they will show it right away. I wont have to find out myself.

I haven’t had a kiss in a really long time, like a real true one, Its been a while since I’ve felt warm lips against my own, pushing, inhaling my air and scent. I’d like to have one sometime. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a real date too, since prom didn’t count according to him its been a very long time, I don’t think I’ve ever really been on a romantic date, like dinner and a dance that whole shabang.

Making out on a coach doesn’t count, that’s just making out and with my ex their was a lot of that kind of crap, I dislike how some people are so cheap when it comes to real dates. Like real mature dates. Ask me on one of those, that way I can dress up in a little something I have in my closet, a nice dress and we can have a completely meaningful conversation and laugh because that is what I’m pretty much waiting for.

Boys get the right to be complete assholes and get away with it, I will never understand society, ever.

Love is the most important thing on this whole damn planet. Do I believe in love at first sight? yeah, I believe in every kind of love their is in this world, the more love in the world the better this place will be.

I don’t judge because judging is stupid,you don’t know what that person has been through, me, I’m different then most I can place myself in their position while others are too afraid to think it. I’m not scared of any animal or heights, what I fear most is that I’ll have left this world with nothing on my name, no mark left. I believe so much in the equal rights of others. I believe everyone deserves love and forgiveness. I keep secrets. I believe there is something out their in the universe but I refuse to put a name on it because honestly no one has any idea. I don’t stereotype others and I refuse to be stereotyped and labeled. Since not one word can describe who I really am, only one person on this earth truly knows everything about me and understands everything about me, yet he also knows nothing at all.

You see I choose who to give my heart to, I choose who I’m going to become and where I’m going to be. You can know everything and yet know nothing, not one person knows what its like for my family at home, if you truly listen and open your heart you might get to know me layer and layer till you reach my core but only I can choose if you are worthy of that. That meaning the very love I carry in what I call “two hearts” since I can love more and I give more. If you give me nothing I’ll be torn.

As I give you information about myself and who I am, you should do the same since that’s all I would like, If I could know everyone in the world like they were my best friend I would. I’d give them the love they needed even if within their inner most hearts they were broken, I may not be able to piece them all back together but the least I can do is put a bandage on their soul.

I wish everyone could be truly happy.