Insert His Name Here

You are
Different
You are
Not like him
You could never
Hurt me
A thousand times
Or make me feel
Like I’m out of my mind
Your eyes are
So blue
Someday I want
To love you
There is no addiction here
I can see it so clearly
You may smoke
Cigarettes
But I can’t taste it
When you kiss me
You remind me
Of the ocean
So relaxed and outgoing
You taste like it too
You don’t taste like him
Your more then a home
A coffee drinker
Thank god
And your obsessed with art
I love it when you speak
I know sometimes
I’ll be silent
But that’s only
Because
It’s you I’m
Thinking of
I hope that’s okay
I want you to stay
I do fear
The loss of you
Please know that it’s true
I really really really really like you

Hidden Falls

She takes it
All in
One step
At a time
Still
Wonderfide
That it’s you
Will you win her heart?
Do you really want to go that far?
Fire from your kisses
Butterflies in my stomach
The taste of your lips
Is unlike anything I’ve experienced
I can still feel
The sparks on my lips
How could it be you?
How could you find me so quickly?
Could it be that you knew already
The connection we posses
Or is my heart just doing
Summersaults
Because
Of all of this
Everything is so familiar
Like a dream
Do you really want me?
A precious soul like you
Full of so much light
Is so rare in this world
You know I’m right
I don’t think
We could ever
Really fight
Your so much like me
In so many ways
I wish
Someday
That we could just
Lay around
Together
Not making much sound
Just sweet kisses
Here and there
So much to share

Obvious

I have a
Tendency
To think
Of you
When I’m with you
And without you
I know we kissed
But I can’t tell
If you like me
Even if you’re making it
Obvious

My Sweetie

You 

I shall always love 

You healed me 

when I was 

shoved 

and broken to pieces 

you’re  different then he is 

please don’t ask me to choose 

only one of you 

can catch my heart 

and hold it tightly 

to your own 

so I will 

never be alone 

if it is me 

you must have 

with your heart 

and soul

let me know

it’s been long enough already

stop wasting 

our precious time 

and let me 

make you mine 

 

Be Your Lady

Do I
Make it
Obvious
Enough
For you?
I honestly
Can’t stop
Gazing at you
I can’t
I’m afraid ill miss
Seeing the best
Part of you
Your such a sweet guy
Your gorgeous
Blonde hair tied up tight
I have such thoughts of you
Sexual thoughts
Future thoughts
Conversation thoughts
Kiss me
Please
I don’t care
If smoking is a habit
For you
Ill care for you
Just as you are
I don’t care if you do
Or do not play guitar
Just kiss me
Build me a place
In your heart
Show me who you are
I haven’t thought
Or liked anyone
Else
Since you looked at me
That way
Eyes shining
I do
Question
If I’m falling
In love with you
But that’s so fast
If its true
I hope your my last
I really do
Whenever
Someone
Says your name
I can’t stop
Smiling
And even better
I make you laugh
As well as blush
Maybe I’ll stay up
Until two
Just thinking of you
I could do it
God damn it
Just kiss me
I cannot stand it
By all means
Make away with my heart
Like a bandit!
Take me already
Ill be your lady!

Complete The Connection

“You live in your own world don’t you? to escape reality?” he asked her as they sat across each other in the empty coffee shop, It wasn’t one of those chain shops, it was more of a family owned business.

She held her chai tea latte quite gracefully but this question seemed to catch her off guard. She took a deep breath, tapped her foot and replied “I have no choice. If I let the majority of my mind slip fully into reality I have a higher risk of thinking that I am insane, if I let my mind seep into what isn’t reality then I loose myself. I live between worlds of the living and the dead and what’s real and what isn’t. It’s a battle everyday for me to not feel like I’m some total freak but I’m just the way I am, even if it is hard to be me”   

He didn’t budge an inch, he didn’t look scared, he just stayed. He gazed at her with such admiration she felt herself blush a little. Then the unexpected came out of her mouth. 

“I’m not an easy person to understand.. it can be hard for people to love me” 

“Why do you say that?” he asked getting deeper into the conversation, he began to play footsie with her under the table, she giggled, it had been quite a long time since someone showed affection towards her like that. 

“Well..” she began to explain, “No one’s really been willing to give me what I want” she finished with a sigh and bit her lip. 

He looked completely fascinated by the words she said and asked “What do you want?” 

He placed his hand on hers as she took a big sip of her coffee, she could always down a lot of coffee, it relaxed her and calmed her body, it always put her right to sleep at night. 

She smiled at him, “I want true love, I want a bond with someone that nobody has ever had before. I want to work really hard to get to that place where I fall more and more in love with him each day as I get to know him more and more each day. I want something special that lasts for years and years. I want to be someone’s wife and have someone’s children, I want a house on a lake and to go camping whenever I please..” she paused, took a deep breath and spoke softly “I want to never be alone” 

She finished off her coffee. Then looked out the window. Her long wavy brown redish hair outlining her pale face. She never wore makeup, she let the sunlight hit her face. 

His mouth dropped open with surprise. He knew she was beautiful but this, this moment, made his heart beat faster then it ever had before in his life. He said quietly “Oh, my god, it’s you…” 

She turned to him “Pardon?” she asked. Her entire being seemed to light up with the sun. 

He felt like he couldn’t breath, he began to feel like he wanted to give her as much of himself as he could. He wanted to see her always happy, to hear her voice as often as he could, he wanted to give her everything her heart desired and in that moment he knew he was exactly where he wanted to be. 

“Oh.. nothin'” he said shyly, but his look was quite obvious, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, she knew exactly what it meant. 

“Wanna get outta here?” she asked with a smile. 

He nodded. 

“Sure your done with your coffee?” 

He replied with a nod again. 

She grabbed his hand and they walked out of the coffee shop. 

“Here” he said “Lets take my car, I wanna show you something” 

“We are not having sex in your car!!” she laughed. 

“No. I know. I wanna show you my favorite place” he smiled at her sweetly. 

“Alright! Lets go!” she remarked happily. 

They got into his car. Hand still in hand. The radio playing in the background as they exchanged stories and spoke of interest’s. 

She found herself unable to speak of those who had broken her heart. She no longer put herself down, saying she is “fucked up” or “crazy”, with him, things were different. She didn’t have to pretend that she was made of sugar and spice and everything nice, he saw threw every small part of her. He cared about her all the same. Nothing about her could make him leave. He’d be a fool to leave her now, especially since he cared so much about her and how. 

Less then an hour later, they came to a dirt road leading to a parking lot and on the other side of that small parking lot was a forest, it looked so green and magical almost. She loved nature. Since she was expected to go on camping trips quite often with her high school, she always felt more at home in the wilderness, the water, the rocks, you name it, she loved it. She had no fear of any animal or insect, if you put her in a cage near a lion the lion would find its own way to love her, her soul, was pure, animals and humans a-like both knew. 

She felt her eyes widen at the sight of the forest “It’s so beautiful” she said softly. 

He smiled at her. It was the perfect moment to just say “You’re beautiful” 

That made her grin, she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. 

He was hoping for more of a kiss on the lips but that was bound to happen at some point. 

They both got out of the car, their hands magnetizing together once again. They made their way to the obvious grey stoned path leading down the center of the forest. Walking and exchanging childhood memory’s, dreams and hobby’s. 

They came to a bridge. He insisted on giving her a piggy back ride. She was a short girl so it was pretty fun for both of them to have her casually jump onto his back without laughing, that was unsuccessful. They ended up laughing pretty hard. 

As they crossed the bridge they came to a small beach with white sand. He put her down, even though he clearly didn’t want to. She took her shoes off and ran into the lake. He sat on a pretty sand colored log and watched her. 

By this time the sun was going down. There was a lamp light by a tiny public bathroom nearby so they could find their way back to the car if they needed to. She couldn’t help but sing.. 

“Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play? Dear Prudence, greet the brand new daaaayyyyyy. The sun is up, the sky is blue..” 

She looked at him “It’s beautiful.. and so are you. Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play?”  He smiled and she smiled. 

“Can you sing?” she asked in a fake British accent, she thought it would sound sexy. 

He laughed, “Yes, but I’m not very good” 

She grinned then gave him a sexy look. “I don’t care, sing for me”

She stepped out of the lake and came to sit on the log next to him.

He sang “‘Cause I don’t wanna loose ya nowww, I’m lookin’ right at the otha half of me! The vacancy that sat on my heart is a space that now you hollllddd. Show me how to fight for now.. and I tell you baby it was eassayy comin’ back here to you once I figured it out, you were right here all along” 

She giggled and then joked “Your right you suck” 

He blushed full on red. “Oh shut up” he remarked jokingly. He smirked. “Your ticklish aren’t you?” 

“Not really, you’ll have to find out where” she half smiled and gave him a silly face. 

He moved in a bit closer to her, his face caressed her bare neck, then he put his face right where he caressed her and breathed in and out. She couldn’t stop laughing. 

“How did you know?” she asked 

“Oh I have my ways” he said with a smirk

She blushed. 

He kissed her neck this time, leading up to her lips. Before he went in for the kiss, he looked at her, straight in the eyes, he put a piece of her hair behind her ear then moved slowly in for a kiss. There lips fit so well together, they both felt a tingle and a jolt run threw their body’s, the connection was complete. 

 

 

 

The Greatest Day (a short story)

He took a deep breath. It had been some time since he had gone on a date, perhaps too long, it took him an hour and a half a head of time to find something he thought was decent to wear, he wasn’t going to just show up in sweatpants. New jeans and a grey tshirt it was. He could just imagine how beautiful she would look on their first date. 

He had only just called her up the night before and cracked, telling her exactly how he felt and what he wanted with her. Then hearing her voice for the first time it brought a chill up his spine and warmth to his heart, he practically felt butterflies in his stomach. He had never met anyone quite like her before, a woman with such abilities and strength. He often felt like an outsider but to hear her say that she often felt like one too brought him to try and understand her, what she’s been through, and to just make her happy no matter what. 

Her happiness ended up being his key goal at the end of the day. If he didn’t speak to her once, just once then that would drive him completely crazy. He often found himself daydreaming of her through certain times of the day but always late late at night when he lay underneath his covers. She had always been the girl who stayed no matter what and others had been stupid enough to leave her but none smart enough to come back. 

When discussing subjects of a deeper notion they both often felt as if they were saying the “wrong” thing, but that was untrue since every word exchanged only brought them closer together. 

He was in the car now, on his way to her house, more nervous then he had ever been. The mall and then a walk around the lake, that was the plan. So much time but to him if felt like so little with her. They would stay up and talk till morning most nights, unless she chose to fall asleep, that also drove him crazy and made him miss her more then he could say. 

He pulled up in front of her house now, he thought he saw a small glimpse of her through a window with sheer white shades covering them. 

He took another deep breath, fixed his hair a bit then made his way up the sidewalk to her door. He rung the doorbell and waited patiently, her mother answered the door. 

“Hi you must be here to pick up Z, she’ll be right down, I’m her mother Tami, sit down and make yourself comfortable” her mother said sweetly. 

Yup, it was practically an interview but he didn’t mind, she was going to be down those stairs any minute now.

Sure enough he heard her, everyone got up as she came down the stairs. She wore a black skirt, a cute little green lace top, a hoodie and some cute little black flats. Again all he could think was “damn”. She didn’t even have any makeup on just some red lipstick.. 

He wanted to kiss that red lipstick off her lips, then kiss every bit of her body and call her his. He’d never felt like that with any woman before. Although he had had illusions of loving other woman but this with her was real. It scared him to think he could loose her again, anyone could just snatch her out of his grip and that would practically kill him, he knew it too and somehow so did she. 

He turned on the radio as they got in the car, one of her favorite songs came on and she sang along to it. He watched her in the rear-view mirror, those perfect lips opening and closing word by word. After she stopping singing he didn’t quite know what to say, “Your so beautiful Z, I mean it, it’s like everything you do you just blow me away” 

she had always been a flirt so naturally she said back “Oh I can blow you” 

He blushed “Thats not happening on a first date” he laughed 

She giggled “I know” then she let out a big fat smile “besides anything I say will just drive you crazy anyway” 

He didn’t object to that, nor did he answer, she seemed to be right about almost everything that she said to him. He liked it when she talked a lot and said words he enjoyed. He knew that this date was going to be one of the greatest day’s of his life and that no matter what he was staying when others have not. 

 

Oh Nakedness

I am not a fan of Valentines Day 

I admit it 

mainly because I have not been in a relationship ever really at that time

and because I think its a holiday made by greeting card company’s and candy company’s 

Plus I don’t really think there should just be one day expressing your love for just one person

it seems like its a bit of a waste

Oddly enough I have always been jealous of people in relationships at this time too

the couples that go out to eat and get to dress up, go out and dance ya know?

I’d like that

I’ve never really seen or actually knew a couple like that 

I mean my parents used to be 

but now they don’t 

Every fucking day of my life 

I am told how to live it

how to act 

how to do things

I’m fucking sick of it 

I don’t tell them how to live so they shouldn’t tell me 

anyway

I mean one day to express your devoted love

I don’t think

I think everyday people should express how they love each other

not just one day

I guess that’s why its a bit 

cheesy and meaningless to me?

although if I were to do something fancy on that day

then it would be better

well 

I have kind of lost track of my mind 

or at least whats in it

I’m kind of 

picturing 

yeah haha

oh nakedness 

 

 

A Shot of Espresso & Some Chai

Why the fuck do I do this? I over-think and over-think and over-think. 

I like you okay, I like you! there! 

Ugh so many questions going through my head and this is the price I get for being a girl, shit.. 

My music isn’t helping either. 

Gosh, what happens if you don’t like me? what do I do then? 

your so much more amazing then I thought. 

I’ll admit I’m a bit disappointed that our date had to end but hey there’s always time for one more. I hope you ask me out again. 

It really does feel like my past is behind me. For real this time. 

You really make me happy you know? 

I can’t tell you how badly I wanted to kiss you in the coffee shop. 

haha, you were so nervous, I could tell. I think you talked more then I did. I like that. 

I wish I knew how you felt about me. Maybe sometime soon I’ll find out. I hope to find out soon. 

You said what you always do “I’ll text you sometime”

FUCK

you walk out of there so fast though.. 

I guess that was the panic of homework that needed to be finished. 

I sure as hell hope it wasn’t because of me 

I didn’t make you too nervous did I? 

I sure hope I didn’t. 

PLEASE, let me see you again. 

You’ll Be The Prince & I’ll Be The Princess

Why are there so many guys who are interested in me? 

I have had at least five maybe more guys ask me to go out with them since the new year, believe me its lovely but it is something I’m not used too. 

Men are usually intimidated by me or they say nothing at all but this time its different  I’m a woman now so that may be the case of it all haha

It’s snow out, very gracefully now and too think that I get to walk in it. 

I’m still not completely ready for my date haha that will happen within an hour. 

I feel like so many man are just blinded by beauty on the outside of a woman, many have yet to see what a woman looks like on the inside. After all the things I’ve learned as sextis as this sounds both men and woman can be filled completely with bullshit. I have met the same amount of woman as the same amount of men who look so beautiful on the outside but there souls are suffering from something that cannot be fixed unless they find it for themselves. 

I am going to be honest with you. I have never been the type of woman who hides beneath her beauty, in fact it was hard for me to find my true beauty on the inside. I always give to others even if I get nothing in return, I care so fucking much about everyone else that I had been blinded for the love of myself, but I found it now, I found that love. I feel that is what makes my soul so pure, because I love like no other, a woman born with two hearts. 

A woman either more human are very much less human then the rest, I honestly wouldn’t know. At points in time I dislike being human but at other points I also believe I am happy too be so but to have more power would be lovely. 

I have found myself reading Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet yesterday, I spoke the words allowed to myself, it was consuming, I very much put myself in each part, the words Romeo speaks of his Juliet are so touching. I’m pretty sure I almost cried.  

I don’t know what else to tell you. 

I know tonight will be quite an inspiring night.