Good Things Are About to Rain

Eyes tired 

head spinning

thoughts racing

which one will win?

she cannot wait

for the goodness

to begin

nervous she is

that

things could not work out

again

and disappointment

will stay in her head

 but the mists 

of good things 

are about to rain 

all over you 

time 

shall not 

take as long 

as you think

just smile 

and relax 

things will reveal themselves 

without much of you 

to ask 

keep your head up 

do not worry 

time will scurry 

across the floor 

and soon 

a new door 

will open 

you’ll be drinking 

sweet 

alcohol in no time 

 

 

Train Ride

It’s days like these

when the sun does shine 

after a crisp 

drizzle of rain

you find yourself 

getting off the train

into that beautiful sunshine 

and there he is 

standing there 

just a couple 

bus stops down

with his red hair 

you know so well

he recognizes your face 

and those dresses 

you always wore 

he hops on the bus 

as he gazes at you 

seeing what he missed 

he knows he lost something 

the day he lost you 

for all you know 

he could have been crying 

behind those sun glasses 

he sees 

you’ve moved on

it’s obvious 

you’ve gotten over him

and your heart belongs to someone else 

the man who always cared 

only now did he dare 

declare how much

though he may be busy 

he still has time for you 

and will 

see you soon 

 

All I Ever Wanted Was To Pick Apart The Day, Put The Pieces Back Together My Way

It is finally spring time 

and I have this beautiful dress I’m going to wear on Thursday 

just to wear it 

I was going to cry yesterday 

but I was too tired to do it 

it’s suppose to rain today 

and on Wednesday 

in fact 

it is raining now

it’s more of drizzling though 

which sucks 

since I am a lover of the big storms 

but I did take a dip in it today 

it felt lovely 

though it looks like it’s raining away from my house 

like what the hell? haha 

I wonder what’s going to happen 

when it happens 

hmmm

well it’s best not to over think it 

I’ve gotten in a lot of trouble for that shit 

plus it’s a waste of time 

though I’m not going to lie 

at night I do spend a lot of my time 

thinking things over 

and remembering what happened 

all the happy things mostly 

that’s a good thing right?

I suppose so

I’m not sure if I made the right decision

I feel like at this point I deserve more then friendship

and that isn’t selfish or greedy at all

at least I don’t think so

I’m not going to be anyone’s play “thing”

or friend with benefit’s

you can’t expect me to just wait for you to love me

Either your with me

or your not

and you give me your all

or you give me nothing

that is what you get

there is no in between

not for me

it’s either all or nothing

you don’t wanna loose me

prove it

fucking prove it all

don’t waste my time talking to me behind a computer

when I should be seeing you face to face

I give out chances

probably more then I should

but I wont be a choice

either you prove that you want this

you want me

because I do see that you miss me

I see it very clearly

I see how much you care

in the poems your write

do us both a favor

and stop lying to yourself

you can act like you don’t care much all you want

you wrote a poem about us once

don’t you remember?

you mentioned open roads

and no destination

in your recent poem

you said something similar

if this is a rebirth for you

and it seems like it very much is for me too

why not give it another go?

we were never together you know

at least now how I wanted

so I don’t understand why you say we were

you never really gave us a chance

because you were never ready

but I was

I was and I still am

I’ve learned my lessons though

when things like this happen

when one of us to scared 

to open up 

or something like that 

You don’t have to act like an asshole 

You don’t have to give me any choices 

I don’t ask of anything from you

but your gonna miss out on so much of me being happy 

and it is going to kill you, when I go out and date new guys 

it’s going to make you jealous and angry 

you wont like it 

I have chosen my path 

It’s more then friendship or nothing 

I don’t know what the hell your path looks like 

but my gut is telling me sadness is pretty damn near for you 

and I wont be there when it happens 

so you won’t have a beautiful woman’s shoulder to cry on

or to kiss 

I wont be manipulative to get what I want 

if you say you don’t feel fine 

fuck you 

I still do 

but it’s gonna fade 

that’s not what she would have wanted 

I know and I’m sorry that 

just like you broke your promise 

I’m breaking mine 

I promised our baby that her Mama would care for her Daddy 

and that there would be a lot of good between them 

but clearly right now 

you can’t see anything of the sort 

but you need to hear her

you need to hear our baby 

I know you didn’t want her and I know she was a shock to both of us 

but I love my babygirl so much 

she’s all that I have left of you 

understand 

that is why I talk with her 

because 

I can give her the love 

that you never let me give you 

I was so close to loving you 

you turned out to be exactly who I wanted 

and what I had been looking for all those years 

but you treated me like I wasn’t worth it in the first place

making me wait so fucking long like you did 

avoiding me 

hardly treating me like a lover 

so go ahead 

let it all fade 

give up on that something 

everyday people dream out 

be an asshole 

miss out on my life 

I’m disappointed in you 

giving up 

on something that could have 

grown into something bigger 

then anything you’ve ever know 

you were my best friend 

I had nothing but

admiration 

happiness 

and I almost loved you

but you were long gone 

and your still believing this imaginative shit in your head 

don’t you remember what it feels like to be with me?

you know how many people are age would kill for that? 

please do not let it go away

don’t let go of me like this 

find a way to win me back for christs sake! 

yeah, I’m done waiting 

but that still doesn’t give you the right to give up on me 

I never gave up on you 

I worked hard for us 

it was you that was too lazy to see what you love in me 

you said yes 

to if you saw me again that you would fall head over heels all over again 

so what’s the risk?

are you scared that you’ll fall in love with me?

what is it?

I wish you would put me first again 

I wish you would say something 

I wish you would just prove it all 

huamns just make everything look and feel so hard 

I don’t want us to fade 

but I don’t want to be friends with you 

I want to fucking love you 

I still do 

why can’t you see that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let The Rain Fall

Do you hear that?

that is the sound of rain 

rain has many meanings 

its the tears of Mother nature

the rebirth 

the reborn 

the start of fresh grass 

and spring time 

it’s a time for new beginnings 

to let the past 

melt away 

in the face of the rain 

any fear 

any negative thought that has been

in your mind should fly away now 

any hatred that is being held onto 

any negative emotions and feelings and thoughts 

should leave your body with this rain 

you can cry with the rain 

you can yell with the rain 

you can confess to the rain 

sing with the rain 

let your body  and soul be refreshed 

take this time to think about what matters right now 

 what you can do differently 

who you can let into your heart

things you didn’t see before 

let yourself see them

things your didn’t hear before 

listen to them

listen to the thunder 

what does it mean?

what color are the clouds?

what is Mother Nature trying to tell you?

if your inside 

press your hand against the window 

do you feel her sadness?

try projecting your love to her 

say the words 

I love you 

repeatedly 

and think of sunshine 

if shes too stubborn to stop crying 

tell her your secrets 

and if your brave enough like me 

get in your swimsuit and get out there 

you never know 

how amazing you will feel 

till after you bathe in the rain 

A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?

Lately many quotes have been popping into my head, such as-

“Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?” from Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless mind..

“A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?” from Ever After..

” Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.” From a Cinderella Story..

Yes, I am aware that these are all from so called “chick flicks” but still, I mean I feel like I can relate to these sort of things, especially the first one, only turn the word woman into men, because sometimes that is how I feel. 

but doesn’t everyone feel that way? I mean at one point in their lives?

I mean I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone and if I like someone I’ll have them do all of the work to get to know me, since, in the past it hasn’t really worked out when I start it considering a girl like me can tell when he’s “just not that into you” that kind of thing. 

I wish I could just know who’s going to be in my future. you know? 

just a small glance. 

its all I ask and I honestly don’t ask for much.

I don’t. 

I give more then I take, I’ll admit I can be selfish, anyone can be selfish. Its just a part of being human. 

But is being human enough? is it enough for any of us?

I’ve always wanted to be more then human, like a mermaid or to just have a pair of wings. 

To feel more important, since I know I’m different then everyone else. Maybe not by much but I know I’m my own self and no one else can ever be like me. 

If that makes any sense at all. 

if I make any sense at all.

which hopefully I do.

I have this deep love for the sea.. 

the ocean.. 

the rain..

you name it. 

I love water. I love the feeling of the rain, when it pours all over me, its so refreshing and its like the world around me just goes away. 

Sometimes I do funny things like splash in the puddles as if I was a child dancing in the rain. 

The rain

it will 

put you 

in a 

picture frame 

covering your body 

releasing the pain

as your eyes close

you’ll see

there is no difference 

between you and me