Tag Archives: tired

You Would Know

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She sat with her tea

not coffee

and

waited for the

sun to appear

a great

pain in her chest

she looked like

quite a mess

but she had

nothing to fear

for fallen

angels

look just like

you and me

we sit and sip

on our tea

our eyes weak

and weary

if your anything

like me

you’ll just laugh

at yourself

to make your face

happy

with a smile

like no ones ever seen

its hard to be

someone like me

so full of adventure

and dreams

if I had a child

I’d sing it to sleep

if you’d listen to who I say I am

and tried to understand

you’d know

I’m not like the rest

you’d know

it’s easy to take my hand

but even harder to let me go

You’d know

My Sweetie

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You 

I shall always love 

You healed me 

when I was 

shoved 

and broken to pieces 

you’re  different then he is 

please don’t ask me to choose 

only one of you 

can catch my heart 

and hold it tightly 

to your own 

so I will 

never be alone 

if it is me 

you must have 

with your heart 

and soul

let me know

it’s been long enough already

stop wasting 

our precious time 

and let me 

make you mine 

 

Midnight Reflection

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It’s hard to sleep
When you’ve had
Nothing to eat
Because time
Makes you tired
And you feel as if
You’ll never get
What you desire
A kiss
Some signs of love
No one can tell
Not even from above
Your heart is cracked
But your eyes cannot weep
All you want is to
Lie down and sleep
But you shiver
Wishing everything
Was clearer
You can’t be a mermaid
They say
You can’t be a goddess
Like you pray
Your just a silly human
Who had a choice
To save another
Or love a boy
Your heart thought
It would be rewarded
With joy
But so many men
Have treated you like
A windup toy
No recollection
Of giving you up
Just that simple touch
Of not being enough
You’ve cried enough tears
Why should you cry now?
When it could have been
Your life taken
And hers spared
Oh all the memories
That were shared

Good Things Are About to Rain

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Eyes tired 

head spinning

thoughts racing

which one will win?

she cannot wait

for the goodness

to begin

nervous she is

that

things could not work out

again

and disappointment

will stay in her head

 but the mists 

of good things 

are about to rain 

all over you 

time 

shall not 

take as long 

as you think

just smile 

and relax 

things will reveal themselves 

without much of you 

to ask 

keep your head up 

do not worry 

time will scurry 

across the floor 

and soon 

a new door 

will open 

you’ll be drinking 

sweet 

alcohol in no time 

 

 

Ocean Eyes

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Why is it that 

when I always cry 

or feel unbelievably sad 

there is really no one here to hold me? 

only twice in my life 

has someone held me 

while I cried like this 

and I don’t even know if he cares about me anymore 

to be honest 

I don’t know who cares about me anymore 

maybe I’m just saying that 

because I feel incredibly sad 

and useless 

and ugly 

and all these negative emotions 

but my heart 

really needs these tears right now 

 

My World Will Stop Spinning & That’s Just The Beginning

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I don’t know what to write about 

maybe it’s lack of sleep 

I don’t know 

Today I just feel like 

whatever comes out of my mouth may sound completely wrong or offensive 

and I know I’m not really like that 

I don’t say things like that to people 

especially people who care about what I have to say 

I haven’t written a story in who knows how long 

I don’t know if I want what I wanted 

I have thought about it a bit 

but clearly not enough 

since I’m still puzzled about it 

I guess I feel like I need some sort of sign 

not quite sure what kind of sign 

I’d rather not talk and feel like I’m saying things that are wrong 

I’m done with that hurt shit and being disrespected 

I have put up with it enough 

 I do want him to stay 

I’d just like to be treated differently I guess 

I mean I spoke up and told him everything 

right after he hurt me 

I don’t like fighting, I like small arguments, that’s the only sliver of drama I like and can put up with, gossip, taking trash about people and insulting isn’t for me, I tend to avoid people like that. 

When I really admire and care about someone I stay no matter what. I’ve always been the stupid girl who stays. I had to have help to get out of my abusive relationship. I don’t leave all that easily. I don’t want to leave but if I keep bring treated like this, I just might. 

I can’t believe that he just doesn’t understand how much I care and admire him. I’ve always been here. Always. Even when I have been insulted and have had things assumed about me. I have been here. Putting him before me the entire time. How can you still not see that? 

I could never hurt him. NEVER. EVER. I am too kind and caring to ever hurt anyone on purpose. It would kill me honestly, it would, especially if I hurt him, god damn, I could never forgive myself. 

I trust him now, I do trust that he will stay, that he want’s to stay. He needs to trust me though, trust that I won’t hurt him, I’m not out to get him or chasing after him or  thinking he’s some god damn prize. I did want to be his last love, believe me I did. I just don’t know anymore. 

I can’t be with someone who hurts me all the time and who doesn’t listen. You know he reminds me a lot of the old me. I used to be act just like he did whenever someone tried to get close to me. I guess I realize now that pushing people away hurts them. I don’t think I’m going to do that anymore. 

I’d like to someday be some form of importance to him. I’d give up anything and give anything for that. To be someone who makes him happy as much as possible. It doesn’t matter to me what I am, I’d just like to be a big part of his life. Have him care about me just as much as I care about him. 

If I could give him the world, I would. I’ve always just wanted to be part of the reason he smiles. We aren’t all that different. Not in my eyes. We don’t have 100% in common but hey that’s always good right? I don’t like having 100% in common with people anyway, it just get’s boring. 

When he and I talk to each other I do feel like I’ve known him before. We have this connection that I’ve never had with anyone else. Not this close at least. He knows me so well sometimes. I feel like I just know him all the time. 

You should see what he can create. It’s seriously mind blowing. He’s an artist, like a real genuine artist. His inventions are insanely cool. He’s kind and caring too, a bit rough on the edges when he want’s to be but then again sometimes I can be like that too. He’s very wise and intelligent, honestly when I talk to him it’s so much easier then it is to talk to anyone else. He does understand. I am attracted to him, like really attracted to him, I may have only seen pictures but I feel like I have seen him before, only, I’m not sure where. Is it a good idea for me to describe to you every part of him I find attractive?  probably not, so I won’t. That would be a bit too much information to share on here.

I’m not going to say anything negative about him, I’ve already said enough about him not being able to see me and how I care and have been here, complaining about things is stupid so I’m not going to. I do not think he is an idiot for not seeing me,seeing that I’ve been here all along, that I care & admire him, I’ve been there before but I ended up seeing the guy who was there all along. I’m not going to tell that story though. 

I’m done talking about ex boyfriends. Past is past, don’t need to talk about it anymore hah. 

This week I’ll most likely be spending more time in the water. THANK GOD. I’ll be going to my favorite lake on Thursday, spend a lot of time there. Draw, listen to music, swim, probably get some ice cream. 

I have been drinking tea non stop today. I’m not joking. I have this huge mug that I got for Christmas and I’ve had two different types of tea today. So like two cups is about as much as three big tall glasses of water.. 

I’m so bored and lonely. WTF. 

Well I guess I’m going to go now before I  say something wrong. 

By ya’ll