Tag Archives: want

Between 8th & France Ave

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She felt
Like a plastic bag
On a highway
Her head
Filled with thoughts
Rattling about
Skipping on
The pavement
As she waited for answers
Her heart
Told her
The truth
If a man
Truly loves you
And wants to be with you
Nothing will keep him away
Since he will always stay
But if he doesn’t
Then things aren’t meant
To go your way

Happy Place

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Hair a greasy mess

Eye’s all a glow

Visions of apartments

and a bed soft like snow

He gazes at her like he could no other

girl you know

her small pale body

laying naked in his arms

her chestnut hair

flowing across his face

but he doesn’t care

he’s in his happy place

one of her hands is in his hair

of red or ginger as she likes to say

he will not stop

fingering her anyway

since eight months is the amount of time

till they may

do much more

at their sleepover

I’m Gonna Love Myself The Way I Want You To Love Me

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I’m sorry that I have been writing less and less lately, I know much of it hasn’t been as positive as I would like. I’m in a bit of a writers block at the moment and trying to get to where I want to be in life. I often feel as if I work harder then anyone else. Even right now I feel as if what I’m writing for you all isn’t good enough.

I’m trying really hard to believe that there is someone out there for me who will love me like I want him too but right now I don’t see that. I don’t see any of it and I don’t believe it’s there. I’ve been alone or at least felt as if I’ve been alone much of my life. I know I said I wouldn’t share personal things but I felt I owed it to you all to know why my poetry isn’t sounded like it usually does

. I’ve had this desire of being “loved” ever since I was a little girl, not just any love either. I’m talking true love the kind that takes work, the kind where I’m not worshiped but treated like a human being who is cared a lot about. In my past it’s been nothing but being criticized for who I am or being treated badly. I still cry by myself at night to heal. But even that doesn’t work much, I can only heal other people, I have no clue as to how to heal myself. I’ve never felt that I belong anywhere, unless I’m in water or completely naked or being kissed everywhere on my body.

I’m not lonely but I feel very alone. It’s like the shadows of disrespect from my past have just been thrown in my face and I have to just sit there and take it. I can feel his hands around my neck still, I don’t understand why it comes back, why I feel like this so much lately. I’ve gone to therapy for years to get it gone, I’ve done purifying heart exercises, I meditate and stay relaxed but his shadow wont leave. 

I will still write my poetry and work on my video project. I don’t know how to thank you all for your support. I’m hoping i’ll find a way, it means so much to me that you are here and reading all of what I have to say. I haven’t got much hope left right now for love or anything like it.. I hope you will understand and I hope someday my hope for it will come back like magic. 

I’m hoping to go to New York or Dublin for art college, I’ve got much to do before then. 

Thank you for reading everything and being such great followers.Â