Broken Wings, Can you really See Me?

I am weak
Weak out of hurt
You clasp your hands
Onto people shoulders
And some of them
Walk
Without a word
Leaving and your not even heard
I am vulnerable
I need sometime to heal
To feel something
Other then thoughts
That keep me up at night
Loosing people
After a fight
Because I’m too
This
And too that
They point out my flaws
But don’t even take any time
To look at their own
I may be alone
But there is more then one
Here for me
I guess some I cannot see
I do hope
That one day
I’ll be more
Then just me

Questions For a Lover

Who wants her?
Who needs her?
Who is willing to
Keep her?
Or sleep
Beside her
When her heart
Can’t take the pain
Of always feeling
Like she’s insane?
Will you be chosen?
Will time be frozen?
How will we begin?

Miracle

“I don’t
Need
Anyone
That much
Is true
But you know
What baby
I think I need you”
Were the
Words
He spoke
In his sleep
She truly is
The love
Of his
Life
You see

To Love a Goddess

Why is it
That
So many men
Are afraid
Of loving
Such a beautiful
Woman?
Caring for her
Is so easy
She doesn’t
Need much
Just affection
Physically
And mentally
That my dears
Is enough

Faithful Night

He had
Never
Noticed
The poetry
She wrote
Till one
Faithful night
He couldn’t
Contain himself
He read every word
He cried for her
He needed her
For once
In his life
The woman
Behind
The words
Had to
Be his
Wife

Taken

Torn 

between 

two pages 

in a book 

of life 

and love 

only one 

can be chosen 

yet one he cannot have 

so he watches her 

with a hungry look in his eyes 

trying his best 

to show her 

he is not like the other guys 

one day will come 

when he finally 

admits to all of 

his lies 

and the ties 

that once 

held on so tight 

now cause him

to never sleep at night

dreaming of the face 

and the place at which 

she sat 

day after day 

smelling of 

fresh air 

and the flowers 

of a nightmare

he saw her plenty in his thoughts 

full of such things that 

one could not describe 

the desire to 

make her his 

rip the clothes from her body

leaving her exposed to him

but thoughts are only so thin

when ones heart is taken 

 

 

Merciless Bliss

I feel incredibly sexy today 

It’s like I’ve let go of any kind of shit currently in my life 

and am now a free spirit 

not that I wasn’t always a free spirit 

because I was 

and currently still am 

it just took a hell of a lot to find it

at least through some of the negativity 

I feel incredibly jealous of the people who are happily in love 

It seems an awful lot like everyone is just getting married 

and having kids 

and I’m just here 

not knowing what the fuck is going to happen

I’m absolutely confused about my feelings right now 

and it’s all my fault 

for liking a guy with a girlfriend 

and thinking I may still love my best friend 

and now I realize I just might still love my ex too..

Lets see if I can filter this out 

Best friend is completely off limits, so I can love him like a friend, YAY! 

the guy with the girlfriend.. (what an ass, leading me on like that, then I did all that work for nothing. 

then the ex.. who I still cannot seem to figure out. Who I am still attracted too sexually and romantically. Who said “I will” when I told him to dream about me last night, who understands that I CANNOT GET HURT AGAIN, who OBVIOUSLY STILL CARES A WHOLE FUCKING LOT ABOUT ME and hasn’t disrespected me once.. who says “Well good” and “good” when I comment about the past relationship we had and what in him I still find attractive.. WOW, am I really that slow? and he wanted me to just figure this out all on my own?

 

I really need to stop shoving my emotions and feelings down so deep..

ya know its been a while since I’ve been in such deep relaxed thought before 

and I’m just noticing so much! 

I’ve been trying to talk less and think more and its working. 

Again, sorry for the delay of stories and poems, I just need time to figure things out.. 

please be patient with me 

Thank you for those of you who have been 

everything is just making so much sense now

I feel like I have so many questions to ask 

but I was right all along ya know?

shit shit shit shit shit! 

please excuse me while I think this over.. 

 

 

Last Night

Last night 

I had another break down 

Last night 

I felt the whole world crashing down beneath my finger tips 

Last night 

I let the tears run down my face as if they were part of the ocean 

Last night 

I had thoughts of suicide

Last night

I begged, I pleaded, I prayed

for someone to just come and hold me

and tell me everything is going to be okay

Last night

my heart broke a little bit more

Last night

the pain in my chest wouldn’t go away

Last night

I begged to have someone stay

just this once

to have someone help me take this pain away

Last night

I felt numb

Last night

I felt the past holding onto my shoulder

Last night

I said I know I can’t stop living

but I need this pain to leave my soul

I can’t go on like this

I need help

please bring someone soon

I beg you

Last night

I made the same mistake again

trusting words and not actions

Last night

I could hardly feel my body

as I was laying on the floor

Last night

I thought about

who is going to be

the one

to come back

Last night

no one showed

maybe tonight

someone will

Last night

I could hardly sleep

Last night

I realized I’m the only me

Last night

I begged for wings

to take me away

Last night

I screamed

I’m sick of feeling dead while I’m a live

I’m sick of getting my heart broken and feeling more hurt then they do about it

I’m done with not be treated the way I deserve

Last night

I asked you

to please make sure

that each and everyone of them

ends up feeling this pain

Last night

whoever he is

he heard my calll

Last night

my unhappiness made it rain

made it storm

that was me and my power

Last night

I told you

I was made from the earth

just as you are

only you put me in this human form

Last night

I would not stop repeating myself

because I felt you couldn’t hear me

Last night

I asked you to bring him last night

I asked you to bring him tonight

Last night

I asked you to bring someone back

anyone

have someone realize

that they care

and that they want to stay

Last night

I felt so alone

I need someone by my side

I can’t keep doing this

it could bring me

to die

Last night

I wanted to

but I know I have to live

Last night

I told you my dreams

and all I’ve got in store for me

Last night

I said I needed help

someone to share in this eternal pain

 

you need to bring someone back

please bring them tonight

just tonight  

The Apology (A really short story)

“Am I too late?” he said on the other line. 

“What?” she didn’t understand what he was saying, not a clue. 

“Whos house are you at?” 

“Mom’s why?” 

“I’m on my way..”

“But..”

She felt puzzled now. He had said NO so many times over and over. He made it clear that he didn’t want her but now, she just couldn’t understand. 

She had been sleeping naked for a few days now, just the feeling of holding her own body brought her comfort in these painful days she had all to herself without someone to hold her. 

So she threw on a robe and went downstairs just as she heard a knock on the door. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked “What do you want?” 

“I’m here because.. well because I want you, I want us, I want to hold you in my arms, I’ve been such a dumbass lately, hurting you so much, fuck, I’m sorry, I wrecked everything and I was stupid enough to just give up on the spot”  he was practically begging now

“come in and sit down,so you expect me to just come back to you? and fall into your arms and kiss you? just like before” 

“better then before” 

“Don’t lie to me.. what took you so long to realize?” she looked him in the eye this time 

“I don’t know”

“Stop, I don’t want to hear that anymore, no more I don’t know’s, okay, no more on the fence about shit” 

“okay okay, I’m sorry, what do I have to do to get you back?” 

“Well your here aren’t you? you gonna spend the night like before? you gonna hold me like before and kiss me and never let go? you gonna make love to me? the real kind? not the kind like before? huh?” she felt like crying now..

“Yes, okay” he said 

“okay” she replied, even though she told him she didn’t want to talk to him before, this just proved that he cared. 

He got up from the chair he was sitting on, took her in his arms and gave her a big passionate kiss, it brought tears to her eyes 

she ran up the stairs 

he followed 

They took advantage of their time together and kept their eyes open all night 

lips traveling everywhere and body’s entwined 

they had finally 

made things right again 

When You Wish Upon a Star Your Dream Comes True

I need a hug right now 

and I need someone to hold me 

but I don’t think anyone is going to come and hold me 

you know that’s all I’ve ever really wanted right?

was for someone to just hold me and not let go 

while I cry 

and jut let go of all of this sadness that I have 

but no ones coming 

I always end up 

crying by myself 

alone 

in the dark 

so my eyes grow weak and tired 

and I just want someone right now 

who will hold me 

and tell me everything is going to be okay 

but no ones gonna be here for me 

no one will hold me 

maybe I am going to die young 

I don’t want that 

I want to live 

and be loved 

above all be loved