Tag Archives: him

Oh Oh Oh It’s Magic (short story)

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“You’re different then the rest of them” He said clearly and meaningfully with class, gazing at her as if she were the only beauty he had laid his blue eyes on. He tapped his foot and gave her a slight grin, he knew how much she adored asking questions as well as answering them so he simply said “Why?” 

Her emerald eyes lit up. She sighed and moved her longish dark brown hair to one side, it seemed as if they had been at this for hours just sitting there close to the water of the lake, him leaning against a tree. It wasn’t that they were both playing hard to get, though she did when best she could, it was more of the two of them and the incredibly strong connection they felt when together. He would find himself getting nervous, sticking his hands inside his pockets, unable to look away from her. She would simply make stupid jokes, talk too much or look out somewhere else since most of the time her brain would get fuzzy but it was a blissful kind of fuzzy. They both seemed to have that homey feeling when together. Besides she liked to be starred at.

 Before she began to talk he made his way next to her on the grass. She just smiled then began..

“I am different because I have chosen to step away from the crowd just as a child I chose my own beauty, based on the choices laid out before me. You say I am different because you see that, you have chosen to accept me, to adore what is right here before you no matter whats inside” Those weren’t her most intelligent words but she had tried her best. 

“Then why say such hurtful things about yourself?” he asked in a quite curious tone. 

“Because it is hard for me to feel sane sometimes, I’ve been treated like an outcast my entire life so an outcast I shall be. You would not believe any of the secrets that lay hidden inside me. Not only that but I’ve never…” she paused for a minute, looking at the grass in front of her than at his face, looking deeply into his eyes, her face became slightly melancholy “I’ve never felt home anywhere before or entirely with anyone.. people care more about themselves then about other people these days and I’m one of those people that care about other people, lately.. it.. hasn’t been.. enough” 

“But you are enough, you’ve always been enough” he put his arm around her, pulling her in close. How he enjoyed that. 

She grinned, “You really think so?” 

“I know so” 

And what else could the guy do but kiss her and kiss her he did. He kissed her with a passion, not just for her good looks but for the mysterious pieces of her that he would soon find or never find. He knew though that this woman would be his. 

They made their way back to the car and instead decided to find a place to crash, once the kissing would start their bodies would be naked just laying there and talking of life and love. He would pleasure her more then any man ever did. It was magic. Just the two of them at peace together. Such a sight to see. 

 

WE’LL SEE SOON

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They agreed to meet at a coffee shop, that way they would be kept a secret. He said he would pick her up around one o’clock, he knew if he was late she would never forgive him, so he ended up at least half an hour early, hoping he’d see her before the approximate time he waited in the car and then texted her I’m here looking at his phone nervously. 

She came out of the shop, wearing her royal blue dress, knee high sock and that favorite blue hoodie of hers. She had her glasses on and not much makeup on, she’s even more beautiful then I remember.. he thought, gazing at her as if she were magic. 

“Hey” she said sweetly as she gently put her hair behind her ear and gave him a big grin.

“Hey” he replied nervously, wanting to kiss those precious pink lips of hers 

“Can I kiss you?” she asked, just after they embraced 

All he could do was smile and blush a bit, still keeping his hands on her, mainly around her waist, keeping her close. They moved in on each other, for a brief moment it was just lips upon lips, which set a spark through their bodies, it was a perfect kiss. 

He opened her door to his car, “Your chariot my lady” he said charming. She grinned and replied with a thank you. 

They drove to a hotel, a nice one, which surprised her, almost as much as his hand finding hers on the way there and the fact that he could not keep his hands off her. 

Once they got to the hotel, he payed for the room, another surprise. They paid for two nights at the hotel, but would only stay the night and late the next day. They didn’t have sex right away, it just started out as kissing almost everywhere in the room as they put their things away, then laying on the bed talking and kissing which soon turned to making out which he then admitted his feelings for her. He had never been very good at explaining his feelings but he did so as best as he could, still gazing at her like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She then told him her feelings in return, it was only fair. 

Soon they were making out, she asked him to sing, and he did, he sang a song that reminded him of her and he kissed her over and over again, it was beautiful. It turned into oral sex and plenty of fingering/hand jobs. He made sure to ALWAYS keep her pleased on that level. 

“I’ll be right back.. just let me slip into something more comfortable” she spoke gracefully kissing him and then going into the bathroom to change. 

As the door shut behind her, he immediately took off all of his clothes, putting the sheets carefully over his already erect penis which seemed to get harder any time he thought of her naked body and the feeling of sucking on her nipples. She was his first, the first woman he had ever made love to, he wanted to marry her, he realized this now as he waited patiently for her.

He called her name then he asked quietly “Are you ready yet?”  

Less then a minute later the door opened slowly, there she was. In a sexy nightgown made of pure silk, it was a light gold, very close to the color of her nails and toes. She wore no jewelry, but these little golden bobbles well earrings more like in her ears. Again she didn’t have much makeup on but she did put lip gloss gently on her lips. All so that he could kiss it all away like he usually did. 

She walked slowly over to him, cupping her hands around his face and kissing him hard and passionately. He blushed and kissed her the same way back. She sat gently on him. Teasing him. 

They made love three times, till the two of them were all tired out. She lay on his chest looking at him, he looked at her and they kissed. It was like the two of them spoke a language without words, they were so connected that they could understand each other just by the look in their eyes. 

They had both made mistakes in the past but none of that seemed to matter now. He wanted her more then anything he had before. For her to have his last name. To own a place together. She had changed him and he had changed her. He was never going to loose her again. 

They gazed at each other, it seemed like no matter how tired they were neither wanted to sleep. They just wanted to kiss each other, look into each others eyes and share things that most people don’t share. 

It wasn’t love quite yet but it would grow to be sooner then they both thought. Much sooner. 

 

 

 

Hoping One Day You’ll Make a Dream Last

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I’m not entirely of what is 

this feeling that I have 

and all these potentially 

deep thoughts 

that seem to just 

fill my head to the brim 

it’s like I’m inspired 

but not completely 

I feel so close to the ocean 

yet I’m nowhere near it 

I’ve become even more close 

to nature then ever before 

my heart is full 

of that love

that someday someone 

will treasure 

so much 

I can feel how close 

it will be 

we will be 

yet we already are connection

his name is so familiar to me 

I only just saw him 

a few weeks ago 

I keep listening 

to these voices 

such as Amy Winehouse 

and Passenger

on repeat 

I’m never going to be 

who 

my dads wants 

and he leaves me out 

of things all the time 

all the fucking time 

I’m even out of the loop 

he tells my sister plenty 

and he doesn’t tell me a damn thing

this shit happens every year

where he thinks 

I’m jealous of his girlfriend 

and the attention he gives her 

but he isn’t even a good dad to me 

at all 

I have tried harder for him then anyone else 

to get him to finally be proud of me 

to see some greatness 

but I know that’s never going to happen

he’s never gonna love me 

like he loves my sister 

his pride and joy 

I used to look 

to other men 

for that kind of appreciation

but I know 

that’ll only show up

when the time is right 

I’ve always wanted 

that big family 

full of love 

and siblings 

since my family is quite the opposite 

it’s very broken 

I only let myself be raised by my mom 

and my fathers taught me 

of who I shouldn’t be 

it just hurts 

how he can love a girlfriend 

more then his own daughter 

and it’s all because 

I’m “different” 

and he thinks that I have too many things 

that are wrong with me 

when he doesn’t 

even know 

who the fuck he is 

I’m so sick 

of having to deal with his bullshit! 

his fake act 

of believing in a god 

when he was an atheist 

the whole 

“born again” 

act isn’t fucking real 

it’s all for her

and he still thinks I’m a god damn freak

ugh 

I just need someone to talk to about this 

I’m sick of crying 

over it all

and feeling like 

I am all alone in the world 

with no shoulder to cry on

and no one to understand 

what my life is like 

and how much

I’ve had to actually hurt over things

I don’t hurt like regular people 

I hurt more 

and I feel more

and I often feel like I know more 

and love more 

I can’t wait for things 

to just feel more amazing 

then they have been lately 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That Was Then, This is NOW (short story)

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“It’s always been about you Ella! Always! I’m so fucking sick of it! you don’t even listen to what I say!” Harry said angry, practically gritting his teeth.

“That was then!” Ella spoke broadly, “This is now, don’t you see? I’m not who I used to be! You’ve helped change me in so many ways, I used to worry all the time and now I don’t worry at all, I was selfish and pushed you away Harry because I was scared, I was so scared about the way that you felt about me. It wasn’t about me when we were together, maybe for like a month but it wasn’t so I had no choice but to gain my own confidence and love myself, you think it was easy for me to have you walk away the exact night my life fell apart?” she had her head in her hands now, “I’ve been trying to make it about you now that’s why I ask you what you want whenever I can, yes, I still love you, I’m never going to stop loving you for exactly who you are, I don’t see an image Harry, I see the real you and I can’t live without you”

she sighed and took a deep breath in and out, then said quietly “It doesn’t matter to me what I want, what matters to me is you and what you want, I want to see you happy wither it’s with me or without me”

Harry’s eyes flickered, he looked at her then smiled. He didn’t know what to say, all of her words carried so much meaning, it would take a while for him to take it all in. He knew it would be incredibly rude of him to leave and walk out like he had before but he needed some space.

“I need to think about this, okay?” he said in a slight determined way, his hands were in his pockets now, his mind began to wander.

Ella nodded, she understood but first she felt the need to apologize and thank him.

“Wait.. I’d like to say a few more things if that’s okay”

“Yeah.. sure” he stopped and sat down on a park bench and listened.

“I’m sorry Harry for who I was with you, I’m sorry for pushing you away, I’m sorry for saying such harsh hurtful things, I’m sorry for only thinking about myself, I’m sorry for not being your kind of perfect, I’m sorry for accepting you for exactly who you are, I’m sorry I will always love you, I’m sorry for letting you see the weaker side of me, I’m sorry for not listening, I’m sorry for still wishing you could love me like I love you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry”

now onto the thank you’s..

“Thank you Harry for being exactly who you are, Thank you for coming back to me when I thought all was lost, Thank you for staying, thank you for teaching me how to be a better person, thank you for putting up with my words, thank you for showing me how to be relaxed, thank you for caring about me in such a way that you do, thank you, thank you, thank you”

All he could do was smile at that but he sure needed time to think, she always did things like this, filling his head up with thoughts.

He took a step back, waved and walked away.

Ella just sat there on the bench, she felt so scared, she couldn’t loose him again no way in hell could she ever do that, she felt her heart tense, it was like there was a balled fist in her chest, she didn’t think of any “what if’s” or “could be’s” her wants didn’t matter to her when it came to the subject of them. Only he mattered, she had tried so hard to get close to him again, not as lovers really but just to be close in general.

She did still care about him, more then she should mostly, she missed the feeling of his warm skin against hers, maybe she just missed him. He was the one man in her life she knew she could never stop loving..

in their relationship in the past, it seemed his lust for her faded and turned into just “caring” and her caring for him turned into a sort of love really, she accepted him for who he was even the parts that frustrated her, she still was very much attracted to him, what she remembered most was how they kissed each other, but she wouldn’t allow that to happen again if it wasn’t what he had wanted.

Harry had made many excuses when they were together and only letting them be a “thing” which Ella didn’t really feel she had to take seriously so she never considered it a “relationship”, they had only spent three official days together during their “thing” and never really went on a single real “date” which gave Ella plenty of doubts then but it crushed her even more when he left her.. they spoke of death together then and she had her heart broken quite badly. She felt the two of the three months spent with him were more about him, it was almost as if he had grown bitter and cold, he was different then when they had met.

Ella had her faults too, she couldn’t bring herself to trust him completely until after they made love and she began to feel safer, she had stopped pushing him away and saying harsh hurtful things but he left her anyway.

Later he had asked to be friends, but at first Ella couldn’t do that, she loved him too much so naturally she wouldn’t allow it and tried her best to avoid him until one day she realized she couldn’t live without him so she agreed it would be best.

Ella tried so hard to get over Harry and not care about him as much as she actually did but she truly couldn’t stop, she didn’t know why, the memory’s of she and he together stayed so perfectly in her mind, so real too, she knew he was going to be the one man she could never really ever stop loving.

Ella had gotten so worried that someone would steal Harry from her, she cared about him that much that it just freaked her out so bad, so she pushed him away over and over again thinking that would bring him closer but it only made her look less desirable to him.

Maybe Harry was afraid too. She thought, maybe he’s scared to loose her again or to like her again, she didn’t know, it was best not to assume things anyway but how she wished for him to just prove somehow that he cared for her, it didn’t matter if it was friendship or more or less, she just wanted to be some form of importance to him, she treasures him that much and what he thinks.

If only he could see that.

She never really understood why she angered him sometimes, she never meant to do any of that, to make him feel any less of who he was, it was never her intention to hurt him or anything of that nature, lessons learned.

For the first time in a long time, Ella felt herself kneel to the ground and ask mother nature for her help.

“Mother Nature” she said with her sing-songy voice, she sounded sort of like she was going to cry “Please let Harry know that I’d do anything for him, that I can’t loose him again, he means so much to me, it doesn’t really matter how much I mean to him but right now I’d like to mean something, he’s changed me for the better, he’s taught me so much, I love him for exactly who he is and I know I’ve made many mistakes but I need him here in my life, as a friend, less or more, give or take, I just want him to be happy and I want to be there to see him smile. Please help me, I don’t know what else to do” she got up then, tear stains on her cheeks.

She took off her shoes and made her way home, waiting for his answer to it all.

Sunshine & Puzzle Pieces Found (A short Story)

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“why do you keep so much buried?” He asked her as he held her hand, they had just finished swimming the pool late at night. Her brown hair had turned black since the water had hit it or a darker brown, it made her sun burnt skin look less tragic. Her green eyes stuck out more then anything to him, he couldn’t help but gaze into them as the moon hit the waves of the pool. 

She sighed, drawn to the waves of the pool as the wind made them move in such a way it was as if she was in a trance. She shrugged, looking at him,

“I’m too dangerous to let anyone see all of me… I can only break my walls down to those who fall in love with me” 

He felt a surge of something flow threw his body when she spoke, he looked away and then he looked at her again, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. 

“Why to only those who fall in love with you?” he questioned, he felt himself lean in closer to her. He felt her skin, how soft it was yet warm from her burn, damn what a beauty he thought as he still kept his gaze on her. 

“Because..” she paused, she knew her secret would be out if she spoke again, “Because..” she continued “Because.. if someone loves me they aren’t suppose to hurt me or leave, they aren’t suppose to treat me like an inferior or hurt me. Anytime I’ve actually put myself out there I’ve gotten hurt… I’m called names or used as an object for sex when the one thing I want more then anything is to just have true love. Someone who wants to be everything important to me, to protect me, think I’m beautiful even when I’m falling to pieces…” she felt tears well up in her eyes.

She wouldn’t let them fall, not for him to see but it was too late. It was like ocean came pouring out of her eyes of green, the glow of the moonlight tinting her eyes as if she were some sparking goddess. What a goddess she looked like indeed. 

He felt his heart melt, he knew exactly what she meant. She had worked so hard just to get to this spot with him, her hand in his like this, his body so close to hers and his lips aching for a kiss or two, more even. She didn’t need a man in her life but she had chosen him, she had practically gone threw hell just to realize that they were meant to be in each others arms. 

He didn’t know what to say, he felt as if he was falling in love with her.. he could tell her that he always thought of her before he went to sleep, he stayed up late wondering what it would be like just to hold her in his arms like he did the first time only tighter. He could tell her that she’s the reason why the walls on his heart went down, leaving only a big beating heart with less bitterness. He could tell her that his body ached for her so much that even touching himself wasn’t enough. He could say all these things but the one thing that came out of his mouth was.. 

“I like you.. I really like you.. I can’t get your gorgeous face outta my head, seeing you for the first time like that, so free, so heart on your sleeve, so wow ya know? I just… even now.. I can’t keep my eyes off of you, it’s almost as if you have this light inside you that just brightens so much of my life up. Seeing you smile like that and those hilarious remarks you made, I mean damn, how.. how the hell did I get so lucky as to come across someone like you? I had blinded so blinded by past thoughts and I guess I just didn’t want to admit it until now” 

He took a deep breath and looked at her. Her tears had stopped and her face became quite red, the good red, the blushing red, she smiled.. she actually smiled, she had smiled before but this.. fuck.. this was just.. sensational. This smile illuminated her, making her all the more beautiful to him. She was gonna be his girl and he knew it and she knew, but he wasn’t quite done expressing himself yet. 

He bit his lip, wanting to kiss her pink rosy perfect lips. All the while gazing at her. 

“I’m sorry it’s taken me this long… I’m sorry I said hurtful things to you and your fragile being, I know nobody’s perfect, perfection doesn’t exist but you do. I see you now, more clearly then ever before. We are alike in ways and unalike in others but I will go to the ends of the earth to make you important to me in every way possible. Your like sunshine to me, you know that? I could be in any mood and you would just make everything better.. I know you feel it, this connection we’ve got, it’s deep inside you like it is in me, we don’t have to have a word for it but if I could… I’d call it..love” 

Her grin grew even larger, but she wasn’t blushing this time. It all sort of made sense, these words that were being said back and forth, she may have said little but they meant the world to him just as she did. 

He moved in now to kiss her, he felt it was just the right time. Their faces already seemed to fit together, lips to lips, nose to nose, like the piece of a puzzle finally found. Whenever they gazed into each others eyes it was like… a reflection in a mirror, not having everything in common just most of the right things and some of the negative but that would just bring them together more and more, molding them like statues hand in hand, the correct fit. 

They had known before hand that they just happened to be meant for each other, it was nothing more then that. A simple knowing really. When realization hit them both on the same night, she couldn’t sleep, she kept thinking “Oh.. my…god” over and over again until it finally occurred to her that he knew as well as she did. 

They were standing up now, arms still wrapped around each other, he picked her up and took her inside. He didn’t really look where he was going, but she still had that smile on her face. 

She sort of hummed a familiar tune, a bit off key but he didn’t mind. So she sang instead. It was like she was drunk on happiness. 

Once inside she ran up the stairs and he fallowed. That’s where our story ends, but not completely, if you go close to their bedroom door, you can hear her moaning his name frequently, but I wouldn’t go in there… 

I promise you he will be pissed and most likely beat you up, (she finds that attractive when he talks like that, beating people up, yeah she melts) but yeah.. just wish them a goodnight and run your ass right out of there. 

 

I Must Confess

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I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
And it’s driving me crazy that
I miss you
I like you a lot
I’m sure you’ve realized that by now
But I totally do
I like you a lot
I like you for you
All of you
I think your are
The sexiest handsomest guy
I’ve ever had the pleasure to hang out with
You could have held my hand or put your arm around me and I totally would have let you
Feel free to hold me and never let go or hold my hand or kiss me anytime
I mean it
Go for it
Rejection isn’t in the cards
It never has been and it never will be
My gut aches not talking to you
I wonder all the time if you miss me too or if you think of me like I think of you
I want to see you real soon
Like real soon
I apologize for my other rude blog posts. I will only write good things about you from now on.
Can I admit something?
I do still.. Want to be your last love, I don’t care if it does sound crazy. I want to be the girl that isn’t your whole world but is a big part of it, I want to be the woman you sleep next to and who is always here when you need her. I want to help make your dreams come true and kiss you as much as possible.
I don’t know if this is saying too much but I do need you, I need you like the moon needs the earth and the earth needs the moon. Somehow or another I need you. We could be best friends or lovers or both and I’d still need you.
I know intentions don’t always go as planned they end up being just a tad different but I do intend on being some form of importance to you as you are to me wither the word “love” is in our vocabulary or not.
I’ve never had a connection like this with anyone, I feel closer to you then I ever have with anyone. You know me better then anyone ever has, even my own family.
When we hung out that day you brought happiness back into my life and I felt I could smile like I hadn’t in years. No one can make me laugh like you can.
Why did it take you till now to finally realize it was me?
You don’t have to answer that. Is it stupid if I knew that its always been me all along? Because for some unknown reason I know it has been me at least since you came back after you left and I had to let you go. It all sort of made sense. I realized that it was me after many signs that it was as well, I’m not sure if you’d believe me if I told you. But on the night that you came back, it was a Wednesday and the song “Begin Again” by Taylor Swift kept playing on my phone over and over again and then you texted me.
I can stop blogging about us if you’d like all you’ve gotta do is tell me or ask me to stop.
Well I’ve gotta go paint my nails now. I really hope you still like me.
Talk to you later I guess.