Tag Archives: someone

Somebody, Someone, The One

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She often felt
Sad and alone
You see
Convinced
That what
She desired
Could be
Nothing
But a
Shitty pipe dream
The more people
That seemed to leave
The less and less
She would believe
Though she was created
With less trust already
She still hoped
That maybe
Somebody
Would prove her wrong
Someone
Would choose her
To be the one

Made Of Stardust

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He sees
Her
Every
Fucking
Night
In his
Dreams
The woman
He has yet
To keep
Whose heart
He’s broken
More then once
Blaming
Her
For his troubles
Violently
Insulting her
With the flick
Of his wrist
Saying no one
Will love her
Like he did
And that
She’s such
A bitch
Who doesn’t
Deserve happiness
These scars lay
Inside her heart
Waiting for someone
Who won’t
Rip them
Apart
Any longer
But
Make her
Stronger

Analyzing Joyful Memory’s

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I don’t know what it is about today 

but for some reason 

the majority of my music 

reminds me of memory’s 

the good kind of memory’s 

the ones I can easily miss 

and wish that they could 

just repeat themselves over and over again

It’s also been making me think of people 

those that have dumped me 

and friends in far away places 

who I can’t talk to as much as I used to 

because of the time difference 

Mainly people 

I used to care about 

and one person who I do still care about 

but clearly in a friend way 

it used to be love 

but it’s not that kind of love anymore 

it’s like my mind is analyzing my joyful memory’s 

I guess 

I’ve been through so much shit lately 

I guess it’s a good thing I’m reminiscing 

but it all feels sorta sad I suppose

I wish someone would love me 

still I know 

no one will ever love me how I want them too

I’ve been hearing that male voice again

the one that says he loves me 

and I still get that warm feeling of being held 

again almost every night 

I don’t know who the fuck it is 

but it’s back

and whatever this connection is 

it’s much stronger then before 

it’s like 

whoever this guy is 

he wants me more then he did before 

does that make sense?

but it’s not in a lustful way 

no sir! 

it’s some sort of caring way 

like 

bigger then a crush

but with no lust 

and more love 

I guess 

it’s hard to explain 

it’s not an ex 

I know that for sure 

and it’s not anyone who I have met recently 

because that would be ridiculous 

since most of them are assholes 

but I’m sure I’ll find out when I find out 

So fella’s 

I’d just like to point out 

if your gonna be a dick 

and only want woman for sex 

your fucking stupid as hell

I mean this with all of my heart 

FUCKING STUPID AS HELL 

we may believe your non-meaningful 

kind words 

to get into our pants 

but once we find out 

and you leave 

lickity split 

it’s obvious you are an unintelligent asshole 

and do not deserve us in the first place

and believe me 

we will be pleased when your gone 

because if the beautiful woman 

is anything like me 

if she speaks every fucking word 

with meaning 

and shares her words 

and uses REAL

kind words 

from her FUCKING BIG HEART 

you can be sure that 

you will never be let in 

to her trust zone ever again

I am done making that mistake 

of wasting time on people 

who just want to use me 

or they don’t even care 

I’m so completely done with that 

why else do you think I blocked most of them on Facebook? 

and deleted them from my phone and life! 

I only am close friends 

to humans who have amazing hearts 

and treat others with respect 

no matter how 

“weird” 

people think they are 

to me they are everything that I need 

and I will fight for them 

for as long as I live 

and care about them too

There is nothing you can do 

to take such beautiful people from me 

and I’m not even gonna let anyone try 

 

 

 

 

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

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I haven’t been blogging much lately as you can tell 

I’ve been at the lake a lot and in nature 

my mind has been going through a lot too 

perhaps too much 

I feel like I have too many questions that are 

going unanswered 

and I guess some may never get answered like I want them too 

so that’s okay 

I finally let go of what I needed to last night 

and I realize I’m not as obsessed with love as I thought I was 

I do still want to be wanted by someone 

and I want them to stay 

and be afraid of loosing me 

and I want to be important to them 

I lasted an entire week without wanting 

but nothing really happened 

I feel like I am a good reason to have someone stay 

or to come back at least 

I mean I can’t give up on someone I’ve always cared about 

and most likely always will 

I’m done giving up on things like that 

I’ve made that mistake before and don’t intend to do it ever again

I know right now 

I don’t know what’s going to happen 

and I have 

“some” 

hope left 

I would like to see him again soon

of course he is well aware of that 

okay off topic here I know but 

I kind of do talk like a guy 

and I haven’t watched porn on anything like that in long time 

I’ve been pretty damn horny lately too 

and I feel hugely sick today.

ugh ugh ugh ugh 

I want him to kiss me 

and I want him to kiss me now 

and I want him to hold me 

and to never let go 

I don’t think anyone knows me as well as he does 

that’s the truth right there 

I don’t know whats going threw his head 

but I sure know whats been going threw mine 

I don’t want to let him go again 

not after everything I’ve done to just be with him 

I don’t wait for just anyone 

I don’t stay for just anyone 

I don’t admire just anyone

I gotta really care about you to do any of those things 

There’s nothing he could do to ever made me stop caring about him 

I don’t know if I’m crazy for caring about him as much as I do 

but we do like each other 

the admiration and devotion is mutual 

so that’s good 

at least that’s how I see it 

I feel like he must see it that way too 

I’ve told him so much about me 

things that no one really knows about 

or would even think to know about 

I do miss him 

 

I miss him 

I wish he had kissed me too

maybe next time we hang out he will 

I like writing about him 

I like writing about people

especially those I admire 

sometimes I write about memory’s 

or things I wish would happen 

makes me feel less alone 

I know now that I’m never alone though 

there’s always gonna be someone who cares about me 

even if I feel like I can’t see it 

it took me so long to realize that 

to see that 

he’s always gonna be here 

and so am I 

I feel like the wind knows more about what’s happening 

then I do 

but that’s okay 

things will just happen on their own

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last Night

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Last night 

I had another break down 

Last night 

I felt the whole world crashing down beneath my finger tips 

Last night 

I let the tears run down my face as if they were part of the ocean 

Last night 

I had thoughts of suicide

Last night

I begged, I pleaded, I prayed

for someone to just come and hold me

and tell me everything is going to be okay

Last night

my heart broke a little bit more

Last night

the pain in my chest wouldn’t go away

Last night

I begged to have someone stay

just this once

to have someone help me take this pain away

Last night

I felt numb

Last night

I felt the past holding onto my shoulder

Last night

I said I know I can’t stop living

but I need this pain to leave my soul

I can’t go on like this

I need help

please bring someone soon

I beg you

Last night

I made the same mistake again

trusting words and not actions

Last night

I could hardly feel my body

as I was laying on the floor

Last night

I thought about

who is going to be

the one

to come back

Last night

no one showed

maybe tonight

someone will

Last night

I could hardly sleep

Last night

I realized I’m the only me

Last night

I begged for wings

to take me away

Last night

I screamed

I’m sick of feeling dead while I’m a live

I’m sick of getting my heart broken and feeling more hurt then they do about it

I’m done with not be treated the way I deserve

Last night

I asked you

to please make sure

that each and everyone of them

ends up feeling this pain

Last night

whoever he is

he heard my calll

Last night

my unhappiness made it rain

made it storm

that was me and my power

Last night

I told you

I was made from the earth

just as you are

only you put me in this human form

Last night

I would not stop repeating myself

because I felt you couldn’t hear me

Last night

I asked you to bring him last night

I asked you to bring him tonight

Last night

I asked you to bring someone back

anyone

have someone realize

that they care

and that they want to stay

Last night

I felt so alone

I need someone by my side

I can’t keep doing this

it could bring me

to die

Last night

I wanted to

but I know I have to live

Last night

I told you my dreams

and all I’ve got in store for me

Last night

I said I needed help

someone to share in this eternal pain

 

you need to bring someone back

please bring them tonight

just tonight