“Better a silly girl with a flower, then a silly boy with a horse and a stick”

“Happy Valentines Day”
He said
As he put a pretty
Flower in her hand
She blushed
Turning a bright red
“What is this my friend?”
“Is it not obvious”
He replied gingerly
“I want to be your boyfriend”
He whispered within
Her hopeless ears
She never thought
Anyone would ever
Desire such a foolish thing
Of her
But before
She could
Detest
Her views on what
Day it was
And expand
Her bitterness
The man
Embraced her
Then gave her
A big fat juicy kiss
The humans around them
Didn’t fret or laugh
They simply
Smiled
With a large amount
Of joy
The boy then
Explained himself
Asking her out
Though each had school
And not much time
To themselves
Romance
Was on the line
And for once
She deserved
An oddball in
Tin foil
To just
Take her someplace
Special
And love her up
Let her know
She is
Enough

Planet Earth

You think it’s easy being pretty?

wait wait wait wait wait 

STOP 

do you hear yourself? 

there are no ugly people in this world 

do not put yourself in that kind of place girl 

it’s the heart and soul that are as beautiful as you make them 

I, myself, have a pure heart 

that’s why I’ve gotten hurt 

so much 

when you see beauty 

in everyone 

and everything 

it’s easy to be blinded 

but only fools 

hurt those who love most 

that’s why

all assholes will

end up alone 

so you wanna know 

what this “pretty face” 

has been through? 

rape 

abuse 

complete happiness 

utter chaos 

woman like me 

are easily notices 

but humans 

are stupid 

and quick to judge 

they put a stereotype on you 

before you 

can budge 

or they will say something 

to put you down 

because that’s all they know how 

when jealousy kicks in 

each human 

has something to learn 

otherwise we would all

crash and burn 

I’m telling you this 

because I know you’re smart 

and I know 

that you don’t need 

someone else to complete you 

you just need 

to love yourself 

humans think they know everything 

yet they know 

nothing about life 

I learn from others 

when I learn about others 

to just get their perspective 

or story 

I often show empathy 

but there is one thing 

I never 

let anyone 

know 

everything 

 

 

Broken Glass (poem)

Why do we accept scars? 

even the ones that aren’t ares? 

it’s as if we let our hearts 

find perfection 

not only in our own reflection 

but in the puddle 

of someone else 

people tell us what to do 

thinking that they can help you 

but all it does it jumble up 

the thoughts in your head 

and the feelings in your heart 

then one day 

someone is smart enough 

to hit your target 

like a dart 

whizzing past 

in the blink of an eye

and all you can do is smile 

it doesn’t take a long while 

to some you may be made of magic 

to others it’s like your some kind of maggot 

they leave before it could begin 

lives full of lies 

and deception

all for that one thing 

to those that stay 

you mean more to them 

each day 

so don’t you dare 

say you’re not 

beautiful 

let go of those 

who have hurt you 

take time to dance in the moonlight 

you’ll see how relaxing life can be 

without fights 

and when you meet someone 

who sees greatness in you 

accept it 

let it be 

for everyone is sensational 

as are you 

and me 

so I beg you 

be careful 

about whose heart you break 

it’s okay if they are fake 

but if you notice 

how real they are 

and what they feel 

your a dumbass

and I hope you step on shards of glass 

Fishes.

She was born a fish 

a child of water 

and the sea 

men came from 

far and from wide 

but none could tame 

her beast inside 

till one day 

she met a man 

who claimed 

he once was a fish 

he was quite tan

from the sun

and 

very much 

liked to run

their time 

together grew short

but oh how she loved him so

soon he would be living in the cold 

would he miss her?

would he think of her?

would he love her 

from far away?

she really 

could not say

but if he wanted her

why couldn’t he stay?

though she couldn’t ask that of him 

his love for the cold 

seemed to cling more to his heart 

then her heart of pure gold 

she had always known 

that he was the one for her 

they knew each other far too well

before meeting 

when he kissed her

and listened to her heart beating 

that was when she knew

her true love 

grew

his past 

didn’t matter to her

nor did his mistakes 

her adored her beautiful face 

they were fish 

you see 

brought together 

by the ocean 

and sea 

 

For You (a poem)

I could write

a poem

for you

it’s true

I could

would you like me to?

alright I will

Lets see

where would I start?

I adore the way

you gaze at me

when I’m not looking in your direction

your eyes sort of

bring out the best of my reflection

the color of your eyes reminds me

of some of those rocks in the sand

so elegant and almost like diamonds

I like to picture your hands on me

as well as the taste of your lips

I like to wonder what it would feel like

running my small fingers threw your hair

 the feeling of your facial hair on my lips

You’d probably give me goosebumps

You probably know this

but I love your face

You shine

like no other man

I have seen face to face

you put butterflies in my stomach

and warmth in my heart

whenever your name and face come across my mind

I just feel like singing all the time

that is how much joy you bring to my soul

If I could

I would try and swallow you whole

so that you could stay

holding onto my heart

night after night

I don’t need sunshine

when you are by my side

you shine brighter

then every star in the sky

I know that may not be saying much

but to me it’s a whole damn lot

The way that I speak sometimes

may not make sense to you

often times it’s as if I’m in my own

world

of wishes

and

magic

where nothing can harm a hair on my head

but if I could

I’d let you take every strand

and you’d still see me

for who I am

I’m not a goddess

nor am I an angel

or a queen

Sometimes

I won’t be able to save you

when you fall

and hurt your knees

but I promise

I’ll be there to stop the bleeding

I’ll let you say my name with curse words

and insults

I’ll try my best to help you up from the fall

You wont always be the first thing on my mind

but you’ll live inside my head somewhere

speaking my name in hushed tones

that even a princess would be jealous

I’m not allowed to love you yet

but I can care for you

more then my own self

and I hope that maybe

one day you can do the same

but I’m not asking

for anything

though I crave

your lips

I will not ask

nor will I worship you

I will treat you as an equal

but always with respect

and kindness

I’m honestly

not something

you should ever

miss out on

I may repeat words sometimes

but that’s just how it’s done

please don’t run

away

I’d really really really

like you to stay

I know I can be a bit intense

and tend to climb slowly over the fence

but I hope you’ll be right there next to me

leaving your fingerprints

on what was once

painted shiny and new

put all over me

our fingerprints

we two

I hope one day

our hands are entwined

and

I hope

you never

let go

of mine

You Put Your Arms Around Me And I’m Home

Am I ugly?

part of me feels like I am 

or I can be 

I’ve got scars you know

physical and emotional

does that make me ugly?

I was told once by a guy who I didn’t know 

that my personality is 

and I quote 

“shit” 

but I guess you can’t always believe 

what people say

especially if it’s something like that 

and he was just like the rest of them

wanting me 

all for my fucking body

why do some people think

that 

that’s all I’m good for 

is a good fuck

hell some of my 

no longer guy friends 

thought that 

why do people suspect things like that?

that’s like 

pretty much 

labeling me as 

a stereotype

and

I’m pretty much done

with experimenting

sexual things

right now

I just want one person

one

 I don’t care if its crazy

it is what I want 

people can 

call me 

whatever 

they want

I don’t give a fuck

you don’t know me 

so calling me 

things that may 

“hurt”

or 

“disturb” 

me 

has no affect 

find your place in this world

before you start 

judging mine 

for most of my life 

I was the

lonely 

creative 

loner 

I didn’t have many friends 

today 

I still don’t have many friends 

I just have some 

and some is good enough 

for me 

I used to envy others

the “popular” kids 

and 

“celebrity’s” 

I wanted to be one so bad 

because 

I didn’t know I was beautiful

sure there are parts of me 

that could be a bit prettier 

but as a kid 

you don’t see that 

you don’t know the difference 

I mean 

I knew 

I was different 

a lot of people seemed 

to think so to

even my parent’s think so

I guess as a kid 

I did think 

I was ugly 

I wanted to be beautiful

like a fairy 

or a mermaid

something magical

even as a kid 

I wanted to 

change 

peoples lives for the better

create magic for them

or be magical for someone

I’d always work 

on making 

the people

who were going through

a tough times 

lives better

you know?

I thought it was my gift 

that 

maybe I wasn’t human

maybe 

I was mean’t to be something more

like I really did fall from heaven

and it was 

my job to 

take care 

of everyone else

people 

have promised me

that they would take care of me 

but all they ever did was leave 

my dad 

could have bailed on us 

sometimes 

I wish he did 

because 

he’s pretty much walked out on me 

I don’t mean as much to him 

as I did 

when he loved my mother 

instead of hated her 

I vowed

as a small child

as that poor 

little 

nine 

year old 

girl

that 

I would be the opposite

of my parents 

I guess some of my wants 

and desires 

have been pretty ugly too

I can be such a hypocrite

one day

I’ll think I’m the prettiest woman in the world

the next

I feel ugly

but I guess

everyone has those days huh? 

we all think like that

it’s just nice to feel special sometimes 

and have the foundation 

of support 

just to know

someone cares 

is a fucking gift

and 

I’m waiting for that 

and 

I know 

that 

I’ll get it 

it will be mine in no time

he 

will be 

mine 

you dont 

really think about 

being cared for and loved

as a kid 

because your loved unconditionally

or your not really shown love at all

my childhood was half and half

 

I value it

as much as I can

but I had to grow up fast

I guess I just felt that

since

I was taking care

of so many

troubled souls

I saw my first

spirit

when I was five

my parents

were having a party

and

I had a dozen friends over

I went up to the attic

of our house

around

10 pm

and

there she was

a young maid

around sixteen

and for a five year old

that’s fucking huge

she tried to talk to me

but just stuck out her hand

and me and one of my other

friends

went down stairs screaming

most of my other friends didn’t believe me

out of the ones

who were there

then a few years later

when we

were going to free

the spirit

a lady brought a picture

of the girl

and

I told my mom that

I recognized her

that’s when 

my mom 

knew 

I was different

I stopped 

trying to fit in 

when I was a junior in high school

I started to accept the fact that 

I was different

as vain as it sounds 

a lot of the time

I think that I’m much more intelligent and wiser

then people my age

more life lessons and such

I wouldn’t say that that’s wrong either

although

I’m sure 

somewhere 

there are 

more intelligent wiser 

people 

but I like talking with 

people who are older then me 

it’s always been hard to talk to people my age 

because they don’t really understand

but 

I finally met someone 

who is 

he is 

and it surprises me 

that it took me so long 

to meet him

I love hearing what he knows about the world

it’s one of my favorite things 

he is my favorite

if 

I could bring two things to a desert island

I’d bring him

and a four year supply of Twinkies 

hopefully he’d bring the other thing’s we need

haha

I’m a more relaxed person now

at least 

when I want to be 

lately 

I haven’t been able to stop

writing 

just the feeling 

of the keyboard under neath my fingers and clicking 

it just helps 

with this waiting thing

because 

I know he reads these

my words

he reads 

one of my ways of expressing feeling

nobody’s suppose 

to really care about this 

about my life

or my writing 

but 

obviously 

a lot of you do

and its 

it 

touches my heart

I could cry of happiness 

that one of my talents 

is appreciated

no boyfriend

I have ever had 

has had the balls to read

everything I write 

even the damn love notes

so 

I hope that when you are 

in a relationship with me

or even now 

that you 

appreciate

every sweet word

that I have written for you

from poem

to blog post

and to ukulele cover songs

these things mean

that you are

special to me

 

 

 

 

We’ll Play Hide & Seek To Turn This Around

You know sometimes I wish I was prettier, more beautiful, you name it 

It may be hard to believe but it can be tough for me to be happy 

I don’t set standards either, at least not anymore. 

loving others is what makes me happy, its always about the love, looking back I realize I give a lot of it. Even to those who don’t deserve it. 

Maybe I do ask for too much. Maybe I ask for too much in return. 

But aren’t humans suppose to give love for love? isn’t it like, “I give you my heart and you give me yours”? or is that wrong? 

I’m not sure if I know how love actually works but I think its the most beautiful thing in the world. 

Am I going to end up an old maid? what’s going to happen to me if it never appears? Will I die young because of it? 

I just want small simple things, like, tons of kisses, passionate ones, a stupid song, romantic things even if they are cheesy really, to go camping under the stars, jump into a lake with nothing on together, sit by the fire and have deep conversations, be there when I cry, hold me tight, lay with me, that’s all really.. 

is that too much?

it is too much if I want someone to stay? is that why they leave? 

It must be. 

It’s gotta be. 

I feel like everyone is just falling in love and finding the perfect person, the one who will stay and I’m just here, getting screwed over and over without consent. 

I don’t know what I deserve, that could be part of the problem. I know how I want to be treated but I don’t know what I deserve. 

I was put here to give to others. Lately I’ve been out of the loop of Mother Nature, she hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. I don’t know why. I haven’t done anything wrong. Have I? I hope not. I guess the cold has frozen our connection or something. 

Above all else I’m her daughter. She’s been here for me when no one else has. Now she’s not here at all, at least not yet to tell me what to do or at least give advice. Fuck it. 

Maybe I am better off dead, better off with wings on my shoulders. 

I’ve never felt human so whats the point? 

I used to think I was better off on the street, sometimes I still think that, that maybe I’ll fit in with people who have less then me because I feel like I have less, even so my house(s) don’t feel like my houses, they are just buildings. Empty, empty buildings that are cold and dark. 

I have tried to run away 7 times. Seven. I only got around a block or two away. 

I never carry anything with me, I just run. 

I run because it makes me feel less alone, more human, brings my mind to ease, nothing/ no one can hurt me. Those are the reasons why I do it. 

Have I ever told you that I used to be in my own little world? I did, I used to be like Alice in Wonderland.. I never listened to anyone. I daydreamed all the time, I was convinced that everyone adored me. 

None of that was true. Ever. No prince charming is ever going to just pick me up and save me, that’s not how the world works. Ever. 

On Christmas or my birthday, I don’t ask for much, just things that I need and I don’t even care if they don’t get me anything. I give meaningful gifts, like artwork or something yummy that they like. That’s all. 

I used to think I was better off being a stripper or a porn star but I could never do any of that. Although it would give me a chance to be someone’s muse for a change and I like being naked but that just isn’t really an option for me. 

I feel like my whole entire body has just gotten hit with something, I’m not going to cry though. No. I’m so awake, I’m not sure if I should sleep. 

I tried counting my birthmarks today. I wish I knew how many I had, then I could tell you all hah but then again that might be a bit crazy don’t you think? 

You know I have this interesting birthmark on my shoulder, it looks a bit like a star, I’m not sure, maybe wings or a flower. Yeah. I’ve got a small one under me left eye too. When I was in plays the make up lady’s thought it was eyeliner so they would always try and brush it away till they realized “oh thats a birthmark!” haha 

I used to wear a whole lot of make up. I don’t anymore. I hardly wear any and eyeliner is not my friend. 

You know what makes me feel special? you really want to know? Right when I get out of the shower, when people look me right in the eye when they talk and keep their gaze, when I’m laying on a bed naked and being stared at, when I push my hair away from my face, When someone holds me and cannot bring themselves to let go, when someones hands are going through my hair, when I can run to someone and they pick me up and kiss me, when someones arms are holding me from behind and they whisper in my ear. Those are what make me feel special. 

I haven’t been feeling like that at all. 

You think you can make me feel special? by all means try. 

If you can’t make me feel that way then I’m not special and I never will be.