Thinking Of You

A lovers
Stare
Is worth
More
Then air
Your
blue eyes
Hold a gaze
With mine
We have
So much
Time
Do you mind
If I make
A few rhymes?
You are
Two or three
Years older
But that doesn’t matter
Is it love you feel?
Is any of this really real?
To be honest
I’ve never been able
To make a man
Smile and blush
Just as much
As I have with you
I’d be pleased if you
Asked me out
Soon

All My Tear’s Have Been Used Up On Another Love.

I’ve been unable to think about what to write

I’ve had no inspiration

and I’ve been doing so much

and thinking about so much

I’m really sorry

I haven’t written any poems much lately

I’ve been confused about things

and just ugh

I want all the answers now

but my mind is too frazzled

I still have one paper to write

Bit’s of art homework to do

and to study for my drivers test

I want my long hair back

I desire a lot of things right now

and I know some i’ll get

and other’s I’ll have to wait for

but I’d really like to go on a date

not just with anyone

with someone who I feel a connection with

my mom keeps telling me to try out a dating site

but I’m not into that kind of stuff

I guess I still have things to do

So I might as well get it done

I’d still really like a tattoo too

my head just wont shut up about relationships

and love of course

I swear this longing is like a..

a sickness

no one is answering me

I just don’t understand it

I feel like there are so many things wrong with me

but how can there be when I’ve changed so much already?

I don’t get it

I don’t get why I feel like this

why do I feel like this?

I’m sad because of some things

I’m confused

am I stupid for feeling the way I’ve felt about some people?

do I make bad decisions?

I don’t know what I want right now

maybe that’s the problem

I know what I want in a guy though

Someone trust worthy

loyal

who thinks about me when he can

passionate

weird

always answers back

cares an awful lot about me

tall

fit

treats me with respect

and in bed like a queen

takes me out to cool places

he see’s a future with me

has beautiful eyes

amazing hair

and hopefully facial hair of some sort

I like hairy so he better be hairy

I like my men creative and intelligent also

he can be creative like sports creative or

drawing, painting, music, my kind of creative

I dislike being treated like I’m “stupid”

he can be smarter then me but I don’t need him point it out to me

or any of my flaws

doesn’t make excuses, accepts responsibility

can say sorry

cry’s

I like nerdy guys too

he’s gotta like most of the things I do

but I dislike it when people always agree with me

so we can’t have too much in common

but if he doesn’t like camping and the outdoors we are not going to work

no hater of nature

is going to me loving me

he doesn’t have to be as obsessed with it as I am

but pretty close would be good

I am not begging, pleading or praying for this

I’m just announcing my criteria for a real man

this isn’t bullshit

this isn’t some fairytale

this is real

this isn’t me getting my hopes up

this is me putting myself out there

telling you who I think my kind of guy is

he isn’t a dream guy

or a prince in shining armor

I want someone real

I’m not bashing the guys I’ve been with

or the men who care for me now

I just would like some answers

as to how

Demi-Goddess

Mermaids
Angels
Nymphs
Goddesses
We all
Care too much
For humans
Who do not
Consider
Our feelings
Leaving
Cracks
And
Broken
Glass
Chipping
Away
At our
Inhuman
Massive
Glowing
Hearts
Filled
With
So much
Love
And purity
It could
Drive a madman
Away
Her beauty
May not seem
Real
But I assure you
It’s quite hard
To figure out
If it is
Her beating heart
You desire
To steal
I beg you
Please
Do not
Shout
Then you
Shall know
What
She
Is all
About

Broken Glass (poem)

Why do we accept scars? 

even the ones that aren’t ares? 

it’s as if we let our hearts 

find perfection 

not only in our own reflection 

but in the puddle 

of someone else 

people tell us what to do 

thinking that they can help you 

but all it does it jumble up 

the thoughts in your head 

and the feelings in your heart 

then one day 

someone is smart enough 

to hit your target 

like a dart 

whizzing past 

in the blink of an eye

and all you can do is smile 

it doesn’t take a long while 

to some you may be made of magic 

to others it’s like your some kind of maggot 

they leave before it could begin 

lives full of lies 

and deception

all for that one thing 

to those that stay 

you mean more to them 

each day 

so don’t you dare 

say you’re not 

beautiful 

let go of those 

who have hurt you 

take time to dance in the moonlight 

you’ll see how relaxing life can be 

without fights 

and when you meet someone 

who sees greatness in you 

accept it 

let it be 

for everyone is sensational 

as are you 

and me 

so I beg you 

be careful 

about whose heart you break 

it’s okay if they are fake 

but if you notice 

how real they are 

and what they feel 

your a dumbass

and I hope you step on shards of glass 

Sensitivity!

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE 

AND THINKING THAT 

THOSE WHO ARE SENSITIVE ARE WEAK?

being sensitive 

just means that we 

have more of a sense 

of strength 

but it doesn’t have to come 

from the strength in our body

it’s in our minds 

and our hearts 

that makes us 

different 

I am extremely sensitive 

to others 

and many things 

I get sick by certain people 

who have a certain aura 

that suck energy 

I can get too stressed 

if too much happens in one day

or I pass too many people who are worried 

negative energy and emotions make me sick 

literally sick 

after being in a fight 

with one of my friends 

last weekend? 

I ended up with a slight fever

and I was paler then I usually am 

and I couldn’t eat anything 

since the words that were said to me 

gave me an anxiety attack

it wasn’t all that major really 

I just lost a lot of energy 

and my mouth sorta bled 

I also fainted 

and I couldn’t eat anything

it’s just what major pain 

does to me I guess

but when I’m happy 

and surrounded by positive things and people 

I feel like nothing can bring me down

and I no longer feel like I’m some crazy person

I wish I could heal more people 

but I know that’s not really the best thing 

for me to do 

last time I did that 

it didn’t really do much

but leave me 

with that persons sadness

I think assholes are weak 

because they portray themselves

as “NOT SENSITIVE”

and they put themselves first so much

that it becomes impossible to love them

because they think 

“hey if I put this person down it’ll make me feel better about myself”

newsflash dumbass 

it is unkind 

rude 

and hurtful

to treat others like that 

Men who are all 

“Holyier then thow” 

suck.

Believe me.

I’ve dated prideful man way too many times. 

NEVER AGAIN. 

Man, it feels so good to say that! 

I like guys with confidence. 

enough confidence. 

Oooooh! 

I almost forgot! 

ladies! 

I have a tip for you

casually look down at the foot of a guy you like 

and if one of his feet are pointing towards you 

IT MEANS HE LIKES YOU 😀 

and thinks your beautiful 

trust me on this. 

Men don’t ever act “themselves” 

around the woman they like 

I’m sorry I’m too tired to write any poems 

or stories right now 

I need to spend time healing 

and forgiving 

because forgiveness 

can make any soul 

happier 

and bring one hell 

of a load 

off your chest 

I don’t really forget these sorts of things 

(see blog post before this) 

but healing would defiantly make me feel better

we’ll see what else 

makes things better 

within the week 

I have hope 

Don’t worry 

before you know it 

I’ll be smiling again

instead of feeling like I’m fading 

with stupid pain

I love you all

thank you so much for being here for me 

I’ll let you know 

when I will be writing again

there will be happier story’s 

and poems 

and hopefully much to do 

with water 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Lovely Short Story

“Why does he love her if she doesn’t wear like any makeup?” Brittany asked her friends, who were all wearing enough makeup to cover their entire faces to their necks. 

“She’s fake duh!” remarked Natalie 

“Yeah and she’s also a bitch, I mean look at her she doesn’t eat a damn thing I bet she just barfs it up in the toilet” laughed Genevieve 

“Probably!” chimed the boys Justin and Sam in unison 

They giggled at her, her long brown hair nicely combed, looking like the waves of the ocean  after a tide, small ripples of curls, her fingers were curled around her book The Picture of Dorian Grey. She always seemed to have a book in her hands or a sketchbook in hand, she always sat by herself but today a boy had chosen to sit next to her. 

She sometimes wore her geeky glasses and sometimes wore skirts and dresses, always in style. That made Brittany and the girls angry with her. How could she be so comfortable being who she is? they found it completely disgusting. 

“I hate her” sneered Genevieve, “I want her to just die, I mean what a narcissistic bitch”  

She had always heard them saying such rude things about her and gossiping, yeah it hurt but it was their problem and not hers. She put the book down as she noticed someone at her table. 

“Hey” he said smiling at her. 

“umm Hi” she said back feeling shy. 

“I watch you here all the time, you read and you write and you create things” he stated sort of blushing 

She wanted to ask him why he did it? and why did he find her so interesting? but she shut her mouth and bit her lip instead. Unsure if how to respond to that she quieltly replied with a small.. “Thanks” and a slight smile. 

“What’s your name?” he questioned, baring a grin that seemed to bring a smile onto her own face. 

“Don’t laugh” she said “but it’s not really a common name, though I have met other girls who have it..” 

“Try me” he spoke gently still displaying that smile of his 

“Zaltu” she said tenderly “but people just call me Z” 

“Interesting” he said “So you were named after a goddess, a goddess of love and a goddess of strife?” 

“Yeah, pretty much” she replied with a giggle. “I guess it fits me though, I don’t think I’m actually human most of the time, just wait till you get to know me” 

“Oh.. Well I cant wait to get to know you better! how about I take you out Z? are you a coffee shop kind of girl or a explore the mall kind of girl?” he asked as he scooted closer to her. 

“Why not just coffee at the mall? then a nice stroll around the lake?” she spoke with a smile and a brilliant sparkle appeared in her precious eyes of paris green, her red lipstick brought out the green in her eyes, she pushed her hair back. 

“Alright sounds good, I’ll pick you up at 4:30” he grinned, clearly admiring her and it was quite obvious that he wanted her and not just everything connected to her. 

“What is your name?” she asked “I mean you know mine and you know about me so what’s your name?” 

“Roger” he said “I paint, write music, create things with my hands, read, camp, think more then I should and am a huge nerd” 

“Well it’s nice to meet you Roger, here’s my number and address for you” she handed him a piece of paper, it had a small doodle and the information he needed 

“How about I walk you to art class before I go to calculus?” he said sweetly 

“Well alright” 

They got up and made their way to the classroom, talking all the way about interests and characteristics they admired in each other, it was as if they could both feel the connection already . Such a beautiful thing. 

“I’ll call you later” he said as he gave her a hug 

“Okay, talk to you later” 

They parted ways, both not knowing that they would end up more entwined then a ball or yarn in the end of it all as the years would go by. 

Now that’s what a call quite a lovely story. 

 

What Is Real (A Poem)

I can smell you 

or is it him

I know you still want 

that feeling 

of your hands in my hair 

and other places 

much further down there

I can hear what you say 

that is if your thinking that way 

but I’m not coming your way 

I refuse to hear lies 

I don’t like asses or jackasses 

for that matter 

so you might as well try to make things better 

I’m not an object 

or something you can play with 

all the time

so make up 

your god damn mind 

or leave me alone 

until you are old 

I could care less

about the other woman your going to date 

you know why?

because your just going to treat them 

like they are a mistake 

just like you did me 

you had no intentions 

if you did 

it was just to fuck me 

and you did a great job 

but you broke your promise 

and you think your a god 

you are too stupid 

right now 

to know what you want 

so you felt you had no choice 

but to pull the string in my chest 

and pull my heart 

right out of my breast 

I wasted ocean tears on you 

and plans that I thought were going to come true 

that you had never even knew 

you left me with a bastard child 

in my womb 

only to die so very soon

so fuck you

you never cared about me 

and you never cared about her 

your own daughter 

whose chest could not heave 

full of air 

who was left in her egg

her little body miss shaped

“I’m sorry” 

is all you said 

while I held my 5 week baby

dead 

in the middle of the night 

you know 

you were the one who started most of the fights 

when all I did 

was try to keep you alright

I shouldn’t have let you in 

but if it weren’t for you 

I wouldn’t have her my spirit child April

who is very smart 

I’ve been told 

never play 

a woman 

who is ten times 

or even fifty times 

smarter then you 

because she will always find the truth 

and she will make you jealous 

because you do not have her 

and if one day 

you grow stronger 

and ask or beg for her back 

with your actions 

you will most likely have 

real intelligence 

goodbyes mean nothing 

if you see that person again 

so that could be why 

we never said them 

it’s just all part of your 

scheme 

to keep me as 

your “pet” or your “whore”

I refuse 

I’d rather be washed up on shore 

having power over you 

since I’d be the only one 

who really knew 

what to do 

take your mind away from your imagination

don’t get too lost 

I know that’s why 

you distance yourself 

so as not to get hurt 

but it only makes things worse 

for me 

and you

let your heart 

overcome it’s fear 

and give me a call

I know you want me near 

this is your last chance my dear 

before I’m caught 

in someone elses arms 

going on dates 

to coffeeshops 

and makingout in their car’s 

 

 

 

 

Â