To The Man Who Will Keep My Heart Forever

Before you read this. I’d like you to take some time and watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTYrFAElzww 

It will only take 3 minutes and ten seconds, I’m sure you can sacrifice that. 

I appreciate it, thanks so much. 

Now I’m sure this letter will make more sense. 

Dear Future Lover, Boyfriend, Husband, Best Friend, Sweetheart, The Man Who Will Hold/Keep My Heart Forever.. 

I don’t know if we have ever met. I don’t know if you are in my life now or if your meant to show up years later. I don’t know if you even exist but maybe this letter will pick up the pace, maybe god will shine a light on both of us and you’ll find me, you will hear my call so here let me tell you what I do know.. 

I know that you are not perfect but to me you always will be. I know that you have insecurities, I know that’s why you don’t talk about yourself as much because whenever you talk about yourself you feel like it’s all Ego showing but you don’t know how beautiful it is to hear that voice of honey and sunshine escape your pink lips. I know that’ll be why I ask you to call me instead of text. I know just hearing you say my name it’ll be like your singing to me and maybe you will sing to me. I hope you do. I hope I make you that happy. 

I know that you’ll think I’m silly because I’ll say humorous or awkward things to you and you’ll laugh at me. Your laugh is like a musical ya know? it’ll just make me want to laugh even more then usual and often you and I will have days of just laying on the kitchen floor almost peeing in our pants because we both said stupid funny things or while I was cooking I threw flour in your face. Something like that. 

I know that when I look into those eyes of yours that my cheeks will turn pink or red even. I’ll forget what I was going to say when you look at me and the same thing will happen to you. You’ll forget words but what words you’ll say to me will leave such a mark. We will always go back to old conversations, never really ending a conversation or actually saying goodbye. You will ask question’s I’ve never really thought of before, and each time I answer with more words then usual you will listen and understand. Yes, arguments are bound to happen and there will be times when you get angry and I cry because of your anger. I might even try to run sometimes but you will always be here. You will remind me over and over how much I am cared for and loved. You will teach me things and hold me when I cry, even if you can’t find any time to just hold me you will do the best you can. 

You’re not allowed to have better hair then I do but you can have longer hah. When we kiss or have sex or just lay together naked, you and I will do this thing where I run my fingers through your hair and kiss you and you pretty much cup my face. You’ll like it haha. 

 I really wish I knew who you were.. 

If you don’t have a beard of some facial hair of some kind then I’m sorry I’ll be an old maid if I have too.. you gotta have facial hair baby. I’m obsessed. I’m pretty sure you’ll be a nerd hopefully or a metal-head or a hippie, whichever category you want. I really hope your not a “hipster”.. I don’t like modern guys, my dream Disney prince is Tarzan and the man wears a loin cloth and was raised by gorilla’s.. 

Hmmm.. You won’t think I’m crazy, in fact you’ll find me just as fascinating as I find you. We won’t be like couples in the movies. The things we do will consist of camping, swimming, skiiing, traveling, going to movies, going out to dinner, both of us cooking dinner, having paint fights, playing paint twister, going to a cabin, hiking and a bunch of other amazing billion things I’ve got in mind.. babe, we won’t have 100% in common it’ll be more like 75% or 80% because I really don’t mind arguments or passionate debates. 

You’ll probably believe in God, I really hope you do. I bet I’m drawn to your passions. Every last one of them. Please don’t be a slob, pick up after yourself, it’s not like you’ve gotta clean everything until it shines. If you’ve got an addictions.. like your a drug addict or you drink too much or you smoke, I’m not going to like it. It’ll hurt me just as much if not more then it hurts you. I won’t tell you right away that it bugs me and I won’t ask you to stop but your privileges for kissing me will be few if I can taste or smell any of that on you..

I will write poetry, paint, sing all because of you. You will inspire me. You do inspire me. I’m a big romantic. I take love and crushes and feelings seriously. I know on the outside you’ll appear pretty insensitive to things and people but I know that heart of yours is just as big as mine. When you realize you love me, you won’t be able to stop saying it. You won’t be able to sleep. Even when we move in together you’ll sometimes watch me sleep. You’ll love kissing me too and holding my hand but you wont like to do much of it in public until after we are married. 

I know I’ll be more then happy to take your shorter last name instead of my incerdiably long one… 

I don’t know when we will be put together.. 

I don’t know if you’ll even enjoy my poetry and stories and art.. 

but I know I’ll always love you wherever, whoever you are 

Please find me when you can 

I’ve been doing a lot to try and find you or have you find me 

but I’ll stop trying so much now 

just appear when you are ready 

I’d appricate it if it was soon 

or in a short while 

I love you, I love you, I love you 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for being exactly who you are

I love you, I love you, I love you

I’ll see you later 

Sincerely,

Zoe, the love of your life and only wife you’ll ever have

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX  

 

 

 

Forgotten

Once you leave her
You are forgotten
Forever
Her memories
Of you
Turn into
Singed paper
Burnt
To a
Crisp
Then
Thrown away
Into
A dark
Abyss

In love

I just
Want
To fall
In love
And
Stay
In love
Forever.
Is that
Really
Too much
To ask?

An Unexpected Love Story in Camelot

In a cottage, not far from Camelot, lived a young woman far more beautiful then the rest and far strange then anyone had ever imagined. Her hair a dark brown with tints of red and a slight curl, it shone in the candle light. Her eyes were known for changing color within her moods. Her lips were perfect, a pale pink. Her skin was always pale almost like snow but once the sun hit it and she burned she looked as if she were a gypsy of the old ways, only with some slight freckles ontop of her pointed down nose. This night was different then most nights at home in her tiny little cottage.. 

She couldn’t sleep, instead she found herself writing words that once lay on the pages of her tattered, used, too large of a heart, now in the old henna washed pages of a leather bound book.

Her quill was made of the feather of her dear friend the Phoenix, enchanting really, brushed with the brightest gold and the color of crimson red like the blood that fell from her fingertips whenever she intended to work some white magic. She wasn’t necessarily a “witch” as so many had labeled her before, nor much of a “sorceress”, though there was plenty gossip around the village. It never really bothered her, she had her friends the animals, being an orphan like herself it was natural to gain respect for those who clearly were less seen. 

She was never given much of a name as a child, though, then again, all she did was sell matches, “the little match girl”, the townspeople would call her. She found it a bit offensive but learned to live with it until she grew out of the name and found herself a real hobby. 

When the headmistress of the orphanage got her as a infant, she was said to have been found in a seaweed basket completely naked with nothing but a necklace made of emerald around her neck with a strange carving on it, a symbol of some sort maybe. 

She found more dangers as a child then she did now, roaming around at night in cotton dress and petticoat would never be enough for the poor girl in the wintertime, men with thoughts in their heads of ruin could do anything to a little girl like her, she screamed plenty and the headmistress would never believe the poor girl about what had happened that night or other nights before. As an adult she tried her best to forget about her past. 

She had become a sensational woman, daughter of eve, lover of mother nature, her work always being towards the good no matter what cost. 

She wrote, of everything, every secret, every craving, every feeling of love and lust, things she felt were beyond important to her. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. 

“Come in!” she said sweetly, as she put her quill in the ink one last time before the distraction had occurred. 

“Goddess!” he shouted “Sweet glorious gift of my life! The pure truth in my heart!” 

He always called her names like these, making her completely flattered, her face a bright red and undoubtedly her knickers quite wet. It was Merlin, the young lad who worked for the dear prince Arthur. He was a handsome Wizard, his hair was the color of a slightly dirty wax vanilla candle or the sandy color of the beach, he always had stubble on his face or a mustache and gotee type of thing, his teeth were a bit crooked but that always gave her a smile, he wasn’t big in the stomach nor was he too skinny, defiantly strong though, his eyes were hazel like the sun in the dark clouds, big and beautiful, his lips were perfectly shaped, bigger bottom lip then the top one, she had always admired him,  found him attractive she sure did. 

She got up from her desk and jumped into his arms, kissing him so passionately his eyes closed ever so sweetly, the taste of him drove her crazy. She ran her fingers into his short hair, pulling him closer. 

She only wore dresses on special occasions, so normally a while peasant blouse and some leather leggings would do, some tie up boots as well, so of course it was hard for Merlin to simply take them off her.. but he had been over a dozen times before and knowing his powers, with the snap of his fingers she could be bare breasted in no time at all. 

Merlin brought her to the bed, he mumbled a small spell, which made her clothes vanish in an instant. She then repeated the same spell, taking his off as well. 

“My goddess..” he would say as he kissed every part of her body like she were the most fragile being on earth. “You.. are so beautiful..I’m so glad.. your mine” then he gazed ever so deeply and passionately into her eyes “I love you” he spoke truthfully. 

“I love you and I’m never letting you go” he spoke gently again, on his knees, moving closer to her delicate parts, he loved so much to put his lips down there, making her moan and pant with sexual pleasure. She kissed him and whispered in his ear “I love you too” then winked at him in a sexy way, making him shiver. 

She opened herself up as he slowly put himself inside of her. She shuttered, it had stung just a bit but she liked it when he did that. Their bodies then began to move in harmony with each other, her eyes grew wide and her mouth moaned with completely blinding justice, she was his there was no doubt about that.

She lay on top of him now, still moving deeply together, he held her small body so closely to his, it was if her spine could break a little, he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until his lips became chapped and sore. Hours had gone by, maybe even days, they didn’t know, time meant nothing to them. 

Soon they had finished, after she had her multiple orgasms and he had cum plenty of times, she lay on his chest looking deeply into his beautiful eyes. She rubbed her nose with his which always secretly meant “I love you, I care about you, I need you, stay with me” it sent a shiver down his spine, butterflies in his stomach and fire on his lips. He was different then the rest, he knew what it meant the moment she first did that comforting action to him. 

“My Goddess.. My beauty.. my princess.. may I ask you something?” he questioned comfortably, kissing her a bit here and there. In return she smiled and kissed back.. “Yes my love Merlin.. what is it?” she asked back. 

He took what looked like a precious stone out from under the pillow, but it wasn’t just a stone, it was a diamond encrusted with emeralds in the shape of a circle with a magical silver glowing spiral inside it, a ring. 

“Will you marry me?” he asked her confidently with a grin. 

“Yes!” she spoke loudly, kissing his face over and over again ,smiling, then she spoke like a song “We are betrothed!” she touched her heart playfully “you are mine and I am yours more defiantly!” 

Soon day’s would pass and Merlin would have to go on another quest, she would have to wait to see her lover then, dearest to her sacred heart, but they would always communicate using magic until he came home again. 

True love you see, is the greatest gift and the hardest to work for, if two beings of the old ways, of magic and spells can fall so deeply in love succeeding in creating a love so great even a king would be jealous then you my dear can work as they do, for your see, love is always with us, even if we cannot see it in the start of our story it always appears in times unknown to us but very well known to the center of our unique hearts. 

 

I’m On My Way From Misery To Happiness Today

You ever notice that whenever someone

“leaves” or “walks out” of your life 

it’s almost like they died?

it hurts that much 

and since you stop talking to them for a large amount of time 

it’s starts feeling like it almost is real

that they may not be dead in real life 

or in your heart 

but your life becomes empty without them

until they realize 

what they are missing 

then they come back 

and admit that they fucked up 

but you soon realize 

life is better without them

or you welcome them back into your life with open arms 

I haven’t had coffee in a long time 

this is the first time in a really long time 

I’d almost forgotten the taste 

I love coffee and I love tea 

both can make you live longer 

laughing can make you live longer 

I haven’t had a real laugh in a long time 

but everything is going to be okay 

and sooner then later 

I’ll be smiling again 

I’ll be driving 

I’ll be packing 

I’ll be working 

and 

I’ll be learning 

then someday 

I’ll be going to Ireland

and Paris 

and The U.K 

I’ll meet people 

and experience grand things 

and see so much 

maybe I’m not entirely meant 

to fall in love yet 

maybe my Irish man or English man 

is with all the wrong woman 

maybe he’s learning just as I am 

and not many people know of his guitar skills 

and the way he draws 

maybe he isn’t famous but one day he will be 

and we’ll meet on the red carpet somewhere 

or at one of my art shows 

I know one day I’ll go to New York City 

so maybe he’s there 

it’s all just right around the corner

and people that have made themselves 

dead in my life 

will miss out on my success 

it’s just the way things are meant to be 

Loverrr ( A Tanka Poem)

Lovely lips 

Head’s spinning 

All through 

The night, together 

Kiss me, forever 

 

Stay Stay Stay

How do some couples do it? 

How do they stay together for so long and then get married? 

How the hell does that all work? 

I mean I know some couples that have been together since high school and some since college, how do they do it? 

because I would really like something like that. I’d really like someone whom I knew young like 18 or 19 and then I meet them again when I’m older maybe like 22 or 24 or something like that and then we date and maybe have a kid before we get married but I don’t know, I mean I’d like to live some years before I have kids obviously.. 

I know that my husband will most likely have a common name and our first names will fit and my name will fir well with his last name and yeah. 

I know I will be happy and we will get through everything together and he’ll stay, he will stay and he will stay. We will live the opposite of how my parents did, not repeating there mistakes. He will spoil me enough and love me more then I will ever know, as well as do drastic things to keep me and make me his. 

but how do couples do that? 

How do they “stay” ? 

Any guy I’ve ever been with has “left”, how will one stay? 

Do they choose to leave or is it me? because it seems like the ones who left didn’t deserve me in the least.. 

I just don’t understand this..