Tag Archives: done

Blessed be Depressed

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She thinks
She’s superwoman
Fixing everything
That she can
An unfortunate event
Comes knocking
The loss
Of a man
Who wasn’t yet
A friend
Breaks her sensitive
Heart
Who is here?
Who really cares
About her?
Friends have gone
Dating has been
All wrong
Please give my heart
A hug
So as to stop
The bleeding
Tell me more
About the
Book your reading

Sure Why Not

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Finding out where you belong is hard
But finding out who you belong with is harder, I’m not saying this is the person you spend the rest of your life with, I’m saying these are the people who show the most love, support and respect to you.
For me that’s been hard to find and I guess I should stop looking because I really don’t give a fuck anymore if people care about me or not. I’m always going to be alone. I don’t need people to say shit about me and think that they know me better because they fucking don’t and the more god damn ego that is spread around this god forsaken world the more bad shit keeps happening. So you can be goddamn sure that I’m done with that shit. I’m done with guys just wanting me for sex and friends staying for a short amount of time. I was made for greatness. I’m meant to go places and put myself first. I don’t need anybody. I’m so sick of guys who pretend to be what they really aren’t and then I get hurt in the end. I try really hard to believe in the good in everyone. I runaway from a lot of problems too but you don’t see me crying. I’ve said this before in a poem and I’ll say it again, just because you saw me naked doesn’t mean you know everything about me. I may scare you because of how much I know and how much you’ve told me about yourself and how little of things you know about me but that gives you no right to accuse me and say that you think you know me better then I do. Fuck you. I don’t give a damn about the past and the fact that you brought that up is disgusting, it shows I’m the one more on track and more in love with myself then you are of yourself. I’m never putting someone else’s needs before my own now, that is the last straw. I’m fucking finished. And you know what? You’ll regret it just like the rest of them and you’ll either come crawling back or you’ll never talk to me again but think of me often. In this case it’ll probably be both, you still feel guilt for what happened between us in the past and you like me so much it scares you. So make your god damn decision either way I’m done. I told you I’m not easy.

Best Thing You’ll Never Have

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I strongly dislike 

those moments 

when you feel like 

your entire world 

is falling apart 

I can’t tell you 

how many bloody times 

I have felt like that 

honestly 

whenever I have tried to make 

something work 

with someone who I’m 

TRYING 

keyword here 

trying 

to get to know 

they manage to 

take something small 

and negative about me 

and blow it the fuck up in my face 

and you call me a drama queen?

like seriously.. 

nice guys don’t do shit like that 

and to be honest

if you tell me 

and give me the impression 

that you’re a “gentleman”

I will be naive enough to believe you 

So I’ve decided 

to put any thing about relationships 

completely out of my head 

it’s just for the best 

and if something 

happens with someone great

but in the meantime 

I’ll show them 

all 

how badly 

they screwed up 

 

 

 

Don’t Know Who You Are But I’m With You.

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You know

I don’t know what got me to think

I’m an outsider to this world

but as I get older it does make sense

no ones really tried to understand

and even if they say that they do

they don’t

Yeah, sometimes I make my life harder

then it should be

Yes, I’m aware of my beauty

but what I dislike the most is being judged

and having others assume things of me

all because of the way I look

I’m overly sensitive

but I really don’t think

I desire that much

Sure

I’ve got multiple talents

I do everything artistic

literally I do

I’m just not a very good dancer

I have insecurities

I’ve got secrets no one knows

I’ve actually got a lot of those

but I’m not afraid to say what I think and feel

I do more things for people

and often when I do

I don’t get much of a thank you from anyone

Somehow I always seem to be treated like a doormat

when I opened up to my class once while we talked about relationships

a girl said to me “but your so sweet!!”

and she’s right

I’ve never asked for anything from the people I’ve been nice to either

I’m used to disappointment in relationships

and men only wanting me for one reason

the lust in their hearts

not actual love in their hearts

which I’ve dreamed of my whole life

ever since I was seven years old

and the greatest love story of my life

fell to pieces

the love of my parents

who now hate each other

I vowed I could never do that

I’d never get a divorce

I’d never fall out of love

so I fell for small gestures others did for me

or tiny glances

meaningless things to others

I took and made meaningful to me

I still hear that male voice saying “I love you”

and I realize that it’s god saying he loves me

but its more then one voice now

two different voices

I’m sure it’s not Jesus

since I know what he sounds like

but I assume its a call

from whoever is meant to have my heart

as faint as it may be

I still can hear it

I still want wings

more then anything

more then a lover to call my own

more then love itself

or fitting in

I wanna fly away

I don’t care if I fall too close to the sun

and plunge into the sea

I want wings

How come other people get held when they cry?

but anyone who has held me while I cried left?…

anyone who said they loved me.. left

any guy really

it’s like they convinced me they loved me and never meant it

I don’t want to be around anyone tomorrow

I want a week of isolation

Heavens Door

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Take me away
From the living
Let me walk among the dead
I want to be done with hope
With love
With fear
Today I wasn’t
Good enough
For anybody
I made two mistakes
Got yelled at for one
And can’t sleep
From words I heard
For the other
Let me drown
In the deepest of seas
Have
No one
Come after me
I still want my wings
More then anything
God you know
I don’t belong here
I don’t fit in
You know I’ve got
No home to live in
I’m too different and you know it
No ones willing to understand
Just take me home
Let me hold your hand
Please I beg you
I’m on my knees
You’ve heard me plead
Just like this before
Now kill me
And bring me to heavens door

I Think I’m Starting Over.

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I think being a princess is overrated 

I think woman still don’t have enough rights 

I think men who think they know everything don’t know a damn thing at all

I think that snow can be a pain the ass unless you play in it 

as in making a snow man 

I think I’ve changed 

I think outbursts wont happen anymore 

since I’ve learned to control them 

I think I’ve started to really stick up for myself 

I think 

even though 

I’ve been bitter towards love recently 

I’m giving up at that attitude towards it 

and even though 

I don’t have much hope 

it’s really stupid to not think 

someone is out there for me 

who will love me 

or someone is already in my life 

its just a matter of time 

but I don’t need a boyfriend 

or anything like that 

I don’t 

you can call me selfish all you want 

for being independent 

but I’m telling you right now 

that is just fucked up to say anything that like 

I’m not selfish for providing and working hard for myself 

I don’t always have to think about other people 

I’ve been thinking about other people since I was seven years old 

do you have any idea how many years that is until now? 

that is 

THIRTEEN YEARS 

of thinking about OTHERS 

and not doing the thing that was best for me 

which is thinking about me 

and getting shit done 

and for gods sake getting rid of those emotional outbursts 

that hurt so many people around me 

but above all hurt me 

I’m fucking done hurting myself 

and I’m done with just giving people what they want from me 

none of that is allowed to happen

I shouldn’t even be talking about the outbursts because it’s in the past 

and I’m starting over

 

 

You Are Different

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You are not
Responsible
For her scars
You cannot heal
What has been done
The bruises
That lay on her skin
Are not far
They do not
Define
Who you are
The blacks
Blues
And purples
No reflection
But if
You caused
Her to feel
Hurt
In her heart
I encourage you
To apologize
To prove that
You’re different
Than other guys